"Everyday You Have To Think: How Could I Be More Stupid Tomorrow?"

Today we did an exercise in which we had to come out and speak with a funny voice (a speaking problem) in order to make people laugh. We should see that you're happy to be top-level funny. Like Philippe said yesterday, the guy that wears a joke mask and brings some fake poo to a party thinks he is funny, and so he is funny, but it's not the poo that is funny. It's the idiot that thinks the poo is funny. 

Wearing the joke masks like yesterday, we went up one by one. Somebody asked whether we should go in groups to which Philippe replied: "We're not so many...we can take the time to flop." 

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"You need to bring a lot of stupid things...if you don't bring a lot of stupid things it's not a clown."

"Everyday you have to think: How could I be more stupid tomorrow?"

"You have to discover your strong point - where we love you and where we laugh."

"If you have a flop you think there are too many people from Belgium in the audience. It's not you, it's the audience."



~

When I got up I tried several different silly voices, staying with a barely comprehensible kind of Australian voice in the end. Philippe eventually killed me saying I was too much with a character. Stay with the audience. Play with the audience.

"You speak like this to make us laugh. Not to be the character."

"You're not the character. You're a guy who pretends. You're just a guy that got the contract to try to make the audience laugh."

He then got me to pick a girl from the audience (I picked Hannah from London) and whenever Philippe beat his drum I had to wink at Hannah suggesting "Kama Sutra in a caravan in the woods." The audience liked me more in this way.

"You have to look at us. To play with us."

You can/should always do this. Pick someone in the audience to wink at. Go and shake their hand. It's not unusual for a clown to fall in love with a girl in the audience, go and sit next to her, and wait for the show to start.

Text - Look - Text - Look...

~

Tessa (Australia) was great when Philippe made her cover her teeth with her lips and told her if anyone saw her teeth she would have to buy them a beer after class. She felt ridiculous, and her voice suddenly sounded very silly, and she couldn't laugh or else she'd be buying the whole class a beer! Philippe got her to speak in a loud Greek-Australian accent, and to make the sound of a truck engine whenever he beat his drum. Brilliant if she believes she is the new Shakespeare of Australia. She was very loveable like this. Full of joy.

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A few people came on stage and felt the flop and then just begged Philippe to bang his drum and end their pain. "Normally a clown doesn't want to leave the stage. He wants to stay and he's going to do so many things to try to stay."

"When you are in a corridor you have to change. To try to stay on stage."

"You have to propose something" – make an offer.

~

When Boris (big French circus performer) got up, Philippe asked him if he speaks Arab, which Boris answered no. But Philippe said "Tout les Clouns parle n'importe quoi." All clowns speak whatever. Arab. Russian. You speak Chinese? No problem! It's like a contract.

~

At the end of class Philippe emphasised the importance of looking very well to the audience. You wink to be close to them. And you never know, the King of Sweden might be there (he's always in disguise), and he might give you a Nobel prize...

Born By Chance (Clown Day One)

Today was the first day of Clown - an exciting time because the school (and Étampes) is full of a bunch of new people! There are only six people that have returned from the year before, and Clown has 20 people in it, and Le Jeu has two classes both of about 25. So there are around 50 new faces!

~

Philippe began by telling us the story of how Clown was born. It goes something (roughly) like this:

Once upon a time there was an English couple, who lived close to where the lake where the Lochness monster dwells.

The husband was a horse rider. A great one. And he featured in popular horse shows in the area. But the king was jealous of him, so he banished the husband. So the husband started his own horse show in a tent far away. And he hired two men - a very tall big man, and a very short small man - to help with the horses. One day, whilst the horse show was in progress, the small man thought it would be funny to secretly put on the big man's pants. When the big man discovered that his pants had been taken he quickly put on the short man's pants, then took off after him. The short man, running away in a hurry, rushed through a door to escape, and found that he had just accidentally entered into the horse ring where the show was going on. The audience burst into laughter at this stunned idiot wearing pants far too big for him. Then a few moments later, the big man rushed through the same door. The audience laughed again. After the show both the men were ready to be fired, but were surprised when they were told to do exactly the same thing at exactly the same time the next night. And the next night. And the next night... Soon they became very famous and people came from all over the world to see them (and the husband and wife made love to celebrate the success of their new venture). The two men still had no idea why people found this so funny, but they did what they were told. And this was the birth of clown. Born by chance.

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A clown must make the audience laugh. That's it.

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The difference between a comic and a clown?

A comic says/does something and the audience laughs immediately.

the clown says/does something and the audience laughs 10 seconds later.

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The clown lives in the flop. It's not bad to be bad. The clown lives in the kingdom of the bad.

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A clown is never ashamed because the audience doesn't laugh. He doesn't think 'Oh no! I'm not funny!'  He think's 'Ah! The audience doesn't understand the joke - I better do it for them again.'

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"When the audience is laughing the clown is around your body."

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You have to find your clown: The idiot around you.

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"Normally an actor is more intelligent than his clown...not always".

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Don't come with an idea of your clown. Discover it.

~

We did an exercise today in which we had to enter on stage wearing a mask from a joke shop and try to  make the audience laugh.

Basically everybody had a big flop - some more severe than others. But Philippe was emphasising that this is not bad. The flop is where the clown exists. What the clown does in the flop is what makes us laugh. He gave an example of a great clown who did something to make to the audience laugh. And when they don't, the clown is confused because it was supposed to work. And in this moment of confusion the audience laughs. The clown thinks they have only just got the joke. He tries again. No laugh. Confusion. Then laugh. He realises the audience does get the joke, but the timing is all wrong. They laugh ten seconds too late! So he tries to get the audience to laugh in time with his joke. No laugh. More confusion. Laughter...

After four people had had a go, Philippe decided which was the worst, and then got all of them to run in a circle looking at the audience as bad clowns. Often, when Philippe ridiculed a clown, or (especially) when he got them to leave the stage, we would laugh at the clown. He'd remind us that when the audience laughs our clown is somewhere around us. And in the moment when people leave the stage feeling like a failure, we see some humanity. Something sensitive and loveable.

~

I was a bit nervous today, I think because of all the new people. I hung back till near the end of class to have a go. When I got up, I tried many things to make the audience laugh, but still flopped big time. Philippe said it was good that I tried different things (as many people just got up and then did nothing): "he showed his fun, but he was not funny." I need to embrace the kingdom of the bad. Really get used to and comfortable with what it feels like to sit in a big flop.

~

Philippe recommended Clown Scenes by Tristan Rémy:

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The new class is a good size - 20 - with people from Australia, Canada, England (many), Brazil, Spain, Germany, France, Italy. And there is a really nice positive feeling about the group. I'm excited to get to know everyone!

~

Oh, and Thomas, everybody's favourite Swiss movement teacher back! Awesome!

~

I also moved in to my new place in Étampes today. 

I've converted the lounge and fold out couch into a little bedroom and it's surprisingly comfortable. I'm really happy here. I'll get to live the Étampes life for a bit. No more 2.5 hour commutes every day! Lots of neighbours! Three minute walk home from school!

Two Kiwis All Over Europe

So I’m sitting on the RER C heading to Étampes. The last time I did this I was three and a half months ago, and a lot has happened since then!

Ben and I spent a week working on our new street show The French Chefs before heading over to Burley-in Wharfedale, Yorkshire, England, where I had my first go at directing. 

I was working with Ben, Lee, and Steve (who was a second-year in my first year) on a new comedy loosely based on Macbeth. It was a big learning experience for me. It wasn’t easy - especially because they had no script (other than Shakespeare’s, which they wanted to avoid) which meant I guided a making process much more than directing scenes. And I learnt about reading (or misreading) a group of people and how you have to adjust how you work to fit them. For example, in one situation what I thought was me applying pressure or ‘pushing them’ was read as “bullying”. Whereas what they needed was for me to be super supportive and positive - to keep their spirits up. 

It was fun - getting a pub lunch everyday in Shipley and living with Ben and Mark for two weeks. The guys were working towards a public performance at a small festival and unfortunately I wasn’t able to stay with them right to the end, but whilst I was there we were able to generate a lot of material and some very funny scenes. I heard about their final performance later and they were happy with how it went so that’s great.

~

Then Amanda and I set off on our three month trip around Europe! 

First stop: Fly to BERLIN

We had a great time staying with my good friend Rosie. We took a free walking tour where we learnt some incredible history and saw many sights: the Berlin wall, the Jewish Memorial (absolutely incredible - a really spooky immersive experience), the bunker where Hitler killed himself (it’s been buried, we stood above it), but most of the time just kind of cruised around the suburbs getting a sense of what the life is like here (one hope from our trip is that we might find somewhere we want to move next year). It was cool - a bit ‘too cool’ for us - very young and hip and alternative. The best bit was hanging with Rosie and her friends. 

~

Train to: PRAGUE

We CouchSurfed with this amazingly nice guy called Todd who has his own apartment in Prague but only stays there for a few weeks every year. He’d just discovered CouchSurfing and decided to dive right in there...so the first night we stayed there were 9 people, the second there were 11, and on the third there were 13 people! All on the floor and the couch and on spare beds. And it worked out fine!

We strolled the streets, took another free walking tour (definitely recommend Sandemann’s New Europe Free Walking Tours...or rather, free tip-based tours), and just soaked in the beauty of the city. Amanda loved it. It was her favourite of everywhere we went. I liked it too. It’s quite small, really alive, the river and scenery is fantastic, and although there were lots of people (including on one night a pub crawl with literally 200 people! Alcohol is cheap in Prague so everybody from Europe comes here for big parties) but it doesn’t feel very crowded.

~

Train to: VIENNA

Here we were hosted by our very own Austrian friend, Thomas T...who set us up living at his lovely friend Margit’s place. Vicky was also around for a few days! 



We rode our bikes all around the town (Amanda can ride now so we were free!), we ate crazy (but awesome) amounts of meaty food and drank big mugs of beer, and went to see Thomas play in a classical-music-of-Vienna concert. One night we even stumbled upon a bar where everybody was Swing Dancing, so Amanda and I had a good groove! Really good company, really good times!

"Ouck, ouck, art-ee-vots-phi" - We became Austrian TV stars by chance. I couldn't keep a straight face.

~

Fly to: LONDON / Bus to: CARDIFF, WALES

We stayed in Cardiff with our old friend Imogen (we all went to intermediate school together - Amanda went to primary school with Imogen as well) and her boyfriend Mike for a few days which was really nice. I tried ordering the local specialty 'Faggot' without cracking but wasn't successful. And we got free tickets to a London Olympics event (there are games in Wales too)! Amanda and I were sitting outside having our lunch whilst watching the games on the big screen outside in the town centre, and a lovely lady just came up to us and offered them to us. She thought they were for a British event, but they were actually South Africa VS Japan: Women's Football...so she gave them to us! And we went! And it was fun! The game was totally disappointing, but the atmosphere was fantastic. The Olympics! For free!

Bus to: MANCHESTER

Brief overnight stop where we stayed with Mark Winstanley!

~

Bus to: EDINBURGH

We came for the first week of the Fringe Festival and stayed with our new Scottish friends Emma and Frasier (they CouchSurfed at our place in Paris). The festival was amazing - so many people, an amazing atmosphere, and an endless choice of shows. And because we were there at the beginning of the week most of the shows were free or very cheap...so we saw a lot. Mostly good, a few really good, and a few really really bad. Amanda and I even tried busking! Which was a first! We dressed as two typical French characters  - a waiter and a maid - and we made a sign saying The French Kissers. We were both super nervous but we decided to do it anyway...and it was a complete flop! We made £3.50 in an hour and a half. The problem was it wasn't clear that we were busking, because the royal mile is full of people dressed in costume interacting with passers-by! So we didn't try that again. But it was an experience! We also ran into lots of Kiwis in Edinburgh which was great. I fell in love with the city. I love the ancient gothic architecture mixed with the mountains and ocean. And the feeling of the place is amazing! Although I'm aware it would be very different without the fringe festival on (unfortunately). But still. It's my pick to move there next! Even if it does rain all the time.

~

Train to: BURLEY-IN-WHARFEDALE

We came back for the weekend so that I could do a days teaching with Ben with a bunch of young high shool kids for the University of the First Age. It was super fast (in just over three hours we put together a show of brand new skits) and a lot of fun.

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Fly to: DUBLIN

We stayed with Victoria, an old friend of Amanda's, and her husband Gared. We drank lots of Guiness (it is actually better in Ireland than anywhere else in the world) and I scored a free haircut from a trainee at a hairdressers. My stay was short but we had a nice time strolling. Not my favourite place - it felt like the only thing people do there is smoke and drink (which is not my thing) - but it was nice. People are very social. They can talk!

~

Fly to: BURLEY-IN-WHARFEDALE

Another day of teaching theatre with Ben for UFA. This time went a lot smoother, and we worked together (the first time we only came together at the end of the day) which was more fun. The day after the first workshop I developed a bad cough, which at first I thought was due to the chain smoking of our guests, but it turns out is Whooping Cough (I learned this 8 weeks later) which I would have got from the kids in the first workshop. So at this workshop I was coughing a lot!

~

Train to: LONDON

Ben and I spent the day in London as our trip back to Paris was in the evening. We mucked around at Green Park imagining what kind of chaos there would be right now if a bunch of dinosaurs suddenly turned up (this was our alternative to going to the National History Museum) and then went and saw One Man Two Guvnors which was brilliant! 

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Eurostar to: PARIS

Ben and I worked on our street show a bit more and then finally got it to a place we were happy with. We played about a week's worth of shows (we tended to do three or four 20-min shows a day). We learned a lot (every show is different!), made some money, and had a good time. The show was popular - we even made some fans who kept coming back every day - and we received some nice feedback. It was a tough journey getting the show ready but it was well worth it.

~

Train to: TOULOUSE

We spent two nights and day in Toulouse. We had our first CouchSurfing scare in which Amanda suddenly had an odd feeling about our potential hose (who we were to meet at the train station in half an hour) and so we decided to escape if we weren't comfortable. And when we finally spotted him (he came with another man) we didn't feel comfortable, so we left. When we let him know we had changed our plans we received some particularly abusive messages back and we knew we had made the right decision. We ended up putting out an emergency CouchSurfing request which was answered by a lovely girl from Hong Kong. We got on really well and one night went out for dinner together sharing a Cassoulet de Toulouse which was amazing but verrrrry filling! I also discovered my love for picking fruit from trees (there are fig trees everywhere here!) which boded well for our next stop...

~

Train to: CARBONNE / Car ride to: MONTESQUIEU VOLVESTRE

We did a 10 day HelpX exchange here with the lovely Héguy family. Fred is French, Sara is from Belgium, and they have three awesome kids: Anton (8), Marie (5) and Émile (3). I fell in love with Émile. He is so cute! He's just learnt the very French phrase "ah bah oui!" which was hilarious.

GUY: Émile, est-ce que tu aime le chocolat?

ÉMILE: Ah bah oui!

We stayed out in our own little caravan and did about four hours work a day around the place. They have a big chunk of land with an apple orchard plus other trees, various sheds, and they're slowly renovating their house...so there were plenty of things to do. We got on really well with the family so it was a real pleasure. Relaxing (although I found myself plenty of stress with Fringe applications) and simple.

~

Train to: BAYONNE

We intended to stay in Biarritz and have a little Southern France Beach weekend but couldn't find anywhere to CouchSurf. But we did find a place in Bayonne (about 20 mins away from Biarritz). There we stayed with a guy called Pablo who is a chef from the Pays Basque. We think he was a bit bonkers as many of the things he said seemed completely fabricated, but he was very generous! We shared his place with him and another 8 or so people. So it was a very social time and we met some really interesting people! Bayonne was cool too. And one day we rode bikes to Biarritz (you can hire them for free in Bayonne!) and spent the day on the beach which was awesome.

~ 

Train to: PARIS / Covoiturage to: REIMS 

We headed to the Champagne region (Berru to be exact) to faire la vendange (do the harvest)! We stayed with Victoria (who Amanda met working at Les Petit Bilangues) and her partner Damian who runs a family business growing Champagne grapes. There we spent a week handpicking grapes all day long with a team of about eight people - all French. 



At first we were a bit out of the group because of our lack of fluent French, but soon we were very much in the team and were all friends by the end of the week. We ate really well - big multi-course lunches - and came away with a nice pay cheque as well. We were warned beforehand that la vendange is very hard work - très physique - (they even give you a 10% bonus for finishing the whole week!) and it was tough (especially on the back), but we got through it! A really really great experience. I'd do it again!

~

Covoiturage to: LAMBALLE

We spent 10 days doing another HelpX exchange near Lamballe in la Bretagne region...with a couple who have a bunch of Alpaca's as pets!

Ron and Judi are British and moved to France to retire. We helped with the Alpacas every morning and did some renovation work too. It rains a lot in Bretagne so we were inside a lot, but it was fine. We had our own room and were fed amazingly well - Judi is a great chef! Real hearty British food! Our hosts were really lovely to us - they took us on a few little trips, including to a 'Fest Noz', which is a traditional Bretagne frequent social event in which people do lots of group dances to live music. It's a bit like what a blue light disco would have been like 300 years ago...with celtic music. It was bizarre - totally not expected from the French - but as we learnt the people from Bretagne consider themselves very different from the rest of the French - and it was fantastic. We had a great time. The dances are pretty basic and repetitive, so it was easy enough to get in there - linking your pinky fingers with random people on either side of you - and dancing away. We also went to a dance class for the Fest Noz dances later on, which was also great fun.

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Covoiturage to: PARIS

And after all that we returned back to Paris for the weekend. It was short but really lovely. We had lunch with Axelle who I lived with last year (unfortunately we learned that Jean-Luc passed away whilst we were away) as well as dinner with some old friends as well as my new flatmate Laura. Amanda has decided to return to the Héguy family in Monstesquieu Volvestre for the next 6 weeks, and so I am moving to Étampes for Clown. Laura is from Australia, 21 (like my sister!), and is doing the first year. We're living where Ben and Mark lived last year, so I know the place well, and when we finally met I knew it was going to be cool living with her.

~

So we've had an incredible adventure over the past three months! And thanks to the generosity of old friends and new, we didn't pay a cent for accommodation. It definitely makes us want to give back when he have a place with a spare bed in the future. Whilst away I also made a submission to Young & Hungry for a new play called About Face which I'm really proud of.

And I also signed up to take WANNABE to the 2013 Auckland Fringe Festival. A big scary step (help! funding!) but something I really want to do.

We also learned many lessons along the way (especially relating to our apartment). Follow your gut. Take risks. Embrace new experiences. Meet new people. Listen.

And we made a decision about what we're going to do when our visas expire in December! We are coming home to New Zealand for six months - where we will save as much money as we can, get new visas, and enjoy our beautiful country (as well as put on a Fringe show and finish off a Bachelors degree) - and then return back to Europe for more adventures. Our French has improved considerably over the past three months and so we'd like to keep at it. Plus if all goes to plan I'll be performing at Edinburgh next year.

~

On returning to Paris, I stopped by at our local Kebab shop to say hello, and after telling the guy where we had been he said that we are very very lucky, and he's absolutely right. We are incredibly lucky. And we know that we will be doing our best in the future to give to people as much as they have given to us.

"Guy, I Would Work With You...I Would Say You Need To Be Less Secure...It Means A Bit Less Pretentious...But You Have A Good Quality."

Last day of the Bouffon workshop today. And the last day of a two year journey for many of us too.

~

Lee and Sam presented their When You Wish Upon A Star AIDS scene again but this time with adjustments from yesterday's direction towards showing more beauty. But this time, without the fun rhythm that Lee had in the background, it felt sentimental and boring. Philippe said "it needs a style" which he clarified as meaning "we recognise it's not like in the street."

[It means] "I have something special because you are in the room."

~

Tim tried his Farewell song again with more stillness and subtlety. But it was "too boring." It's such a fine line going from beautiful and sensitive to slow and boring.

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Duncan and Sam tried the Eve and the Devil text again, this time fast and 'happy' - with Sam eating an apple and them laughing together.

But it wasn't accepted as it was "not subtle at all."

~

Mike also scored himself a 'passage' - a quick scene walking across the stage. He comes on, stops and says "Toronto is not Miami", and then walks off. Yay for Mike!

~

At the end of class Philippe spoke to each of us individually like he did at the end of last year (this was requested by one of us). It was awkward though. The whole last day was a bit awkward with Philippe really. And he didn't remember how he had spoken last year. And he suggested that he could say who in the class he would have in his company if he had a theatre company, which we decided we didn't want! Not at the end of two years! Say something nice! He ended up speaking about each one of us as actors and where we are at, and for some he said whether he would have us in his company or not.

"Guy, I would work with you...I would say you need to be less secure...it means a bit less pretentious...but you have a good quality."

pre·ten·tious   /priˈtenCHəs/

Adjective: Attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.

For some people, at the end of two years training they are still feeling lost and unsure of themselves as actors. 

"Crisis is good...the best job for crisis is theatre."

That can totally happen at this school. It's not one to build you up and let you fly when you graduate. It's not a nurturing kind of place like some other drama schools. This one is tough and honest. And that can be good for learning, but it can also be really hard when you're trying to gain confidence in yourself.

"You have to work a lot to learn the job."

~

The show tonight was another good one. There was a really nice, proud, and together feeling and we went out with a bang. 

After class we had some celebratory drinks and nibbles upstairs. There were a few speeches (Philippe joked that he would think of all of us for the rest of his life) and then wham it was all over. Very sudden. It was strange to end so abruptly. There was no stretched out graduation week like I had at Toi Whakaari. And we didn't really have any ritual to say thank you and goodbye. We did have a nice get together as a company before we played the last show, but it was very short. And then after the show we did have a kind of ritual by all partying on the train on the way to drinks by the Seine. But it was hard to find a fitting way to mark the end of this two year journey for many of us. Partly because the group who have done the whole two years are relatively small compared to the whole group. Most of the group have only been here for the year, or even just one workshop. So unfortunately the end wasn't marked very well. But in a way that is to be expected at a school like this. A school that thrives on fun and spirit, but ignores feelings and emotion. It's odd for me as well because I'm not done yet. I have three months off and then I'm back for one last workshop: Clown. So I find myself saying goodbye to a lot of close friends and reminiscing about the past two years, but I'm not saying goodbye to the school. I'm back in October. But I know that the school I return to will not be the same school anymore. Because the people won't be there - it will be a completely new group. Which is exciting! But also sad. Because I love the people I've trained with over the past two years. We have become close friends, and shared many memorable moments. 

But this is the life of somebody who works in the theatre I suppose. We come together for a certain amount of time and then we all split off again and go in different directions. There is always a goodbye.  And although it will be almost impossible to get everybody in the same room again (although there is talks of a ten year reunion in Paris!) now I have a bunch of friends situated all over the world who I can go and visit and call on when I need help! So thank you my core group of friends who I have done the two years with - André, Christine, Mia, Vicky, Katy, Sophia, Thomas, Stephanie, Mike - it's been incredible.

~

Things I've Learnt From Bouffon:

• Say something - and be clear about what you want to say.

• Use tactics - seduce your audience and then pull the carpet from underneath them.

• Be nasty and go far - and then go further...destroy!

• Blaspheme and be vulgar - but do it with a purpose.

• Show yourself, your beauty and your humanity -  not a character or an idea.

Another really inspiring workshop. I've never done something quite like Bouffon. It's raw and political and powerful. It feels new and fresh and exciting. Something I definitely want to use in my work in the future.

~

And now three and half months off before Clown. First up I'm going to Leeds to direct Ben, Lee, and Steve in a comedy version of Macbeth. Then Amanda and I are off to Berlin (where we'll see Rosie), Prague, Vienna (where we'll hang with Thomas), Edinburgh (for a week of the Fringe Festival), and then a month working in Montesquieu-Volvestre at a HelpX apple orchard.

Montesquieu-Volvestre

I'm also running a workshop with Ben in Burley-In-Wharfedale, as well as doing two weeks of our new street show The French Chefs at the Pompidou, which we did our first trial run-through for the public just recently.

À Octobre!

"We Have To See The Soul Of The Actor."

Katy, Tim, Lee, and Ben presented a number called The Fashion of the Christ in which they mocked the rich upper class catholic church figures for wearing flash jewelry and living expensive lives instead of living the way Jesus preached about. I featured in a cameo at the end as my latin-priest saying "Gucci, Versace, Dolce et Gabbana, Yves Saint Laurent, Armaaaaaniiii."

It wasn't clear what they were trying to say, and they didn't seem to sure exactly what they wanted to say either, and so it didn't work. 

"You blaspheme to say something to people. Not for nothing."

~

Mike presented his Canadian Mayor number about the bicycles again, playing a serious method actor. But Philippe said "absolutely no... not Bouffon."

~

Barbara presented a number in French as prostitute but Philippe said "c'est une merde."

~

Duncan and Sam presented their number again with Sam in the trolley and Duncan pushing her in his straitjacket, this time more 'happy' - but it was too much. It wasn't really happy. It was hyper. And, understandably as they'd only learnt the text yesterday, they didn't know the text well enough.

~

Christine presented a walk-by 'passage' number, in which she strolled across the stage smoking a cigar to the theme tune from The Godfather, and said "I'll give you a job, if you give me a blowjob." She was attacking Berlusconi. It was fun, and although it was really short we liked her...but Philippe said no.

~

Vicky and Mia presented another iteration of their scene in which Vicky talks about the importance of teaching children strong morals...whilst whacking her over the head with a bible. Philippe said no saying that we love them in their Swiss scene, but here we don't love them, so it's unacceptable.

~

Tim, as his transvestite, presented Philippe's text of "Forward, forward, take a look at the face of those who didn't come" in the style of a song at a bad cabaret. Philippe worked with Tim to be more simple, slow, and still, so that we can see him.

"We have to see the humanity...the beautiful face of this guy who suffered...we have to see the soul of the actor and not the beautiful idea...the beautiful idea is for idiots."

"The Bouffon is something fantastic from the soul of the actor."

~

Sam and Lee presented their number in which Sam, as an AIDS patient in a trolley, speaks about the best day of her life to the music of 'When You Wish Upon A Star', whilst Lee goes through lots of ridiculous health and safety measures in the background.

It was funny because Lee undercut the sentimentality of Sam...but Philippe said that those who were laughing had bad taste and went on to prove it. He then led Lee to place the fake hand on the end of a long stick ("Sookie, will you hold my hand?") with real precision and care - not like the deliberately rough way it was done before.

"Every detail is well done to create something in the soul of the audience."

"We have to see the actor looking for something beautiful...everything has to be fantastic for us."

Philippe argued that before we were laughing at something crass, whilst now "we have an emotion." We see Sam and this sad image of her feeling the joys of human contact with a rubber glove on a stick and we feel something.

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Ben and Duncan presented a version of the 'Adam's masturbating' text in which they said their text fast and light to ild fashioned cabaret music whilst several Bouffons danced in the background. Every now and then a gun shot would bang and one of the Bouffons would drop to the floor dead. There was also a kind of Hitler figure upstage saying "that's no good, try harder" suggesting this performance was at a concentration camp and they were all trying to survive.

I was in this scene, and whilst we were rehearsing I was thinking it wasn't going to work because it was too much of an idea, but Philippe didn't mind it and suggested we work on it tomorrow in class. He actually said this or a few numbers, been though he had originally said there would be no showings on Friday.

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Yuichi presented a number about the lies in Japan.

He came on and shouted "Tsunami! Earthquake! Nuclear!" and then did an upbeat song and dance in Japanese about how the government are all liars. But he panicked half way through and didn't finish, and Philippe said no.

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Ben also tried playing the Fool from King Lear, who Philippe had said a while ago is a Bouffon character.

Ben had this "Hey Nunny Nunny" music, and spoke quite grand and royally whilst dressed like a jester. But Philippe said no because it was "too elegant."

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So many numbers presented on what we thought was the last day to present (which it basically was) but nothing got through. It is hard to present something of quality that is well thought out in a short amount of time! With pressure! But I suppose this is asked for in the 'real world' quite often...

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The show tonight was another good one. In fact our best so far. There was a really good feeling in the audience and everything ran particularly smoothly. Only one night to go until the end of the Bouffon workshop, and the end of two years at Gaulier for many people.

“What Do You Want To Say?”

Back to classes again today...which means more presentations to try and get into the show.

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Duncan and Sam presented a new version of Duncan’s text about society forgetting about mad people. Duncan was dressed like a middle-ages Bouffon, and he pushed Sam, dressed like an AIDS patient, in a trolley with a light inside it so they were all lit up. Philippe said“I like the image but I don’t like the text” but it’s not Bouffon. Really frustrating for Duncan cause he’s been trying desperately to get into the show that he was led to believe he was already in. Plus only now has Philippe mentioned anything wrong with the text...

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Christine, Lee, Mark and Charles presented a number commenting on society’s obsession with frivolous gossip instead of real important news issues. They were speaking about how recently the front page story on a newspaper was a ‘tweet’ from the ex-wife of a president, and a major story about the collapse of the Euro was shunted to the second or third page. 

In their piece Christine and Lee gossiped over a cup of coffee, whilst Mark and Charles, dressed like tramps, threw money into a rubbish bin and lit it on fire. Philippe said “No! I didn’t understand anything.” And neither did I. It wasn’t clear what they wanted to speak about in the performance. Philippe spoke about how nobody is throwing money in the bin. They might be gambling with it - taking risks - but nobody is lighting it on fire.

“You need to say something precise.”

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Tim and Lee presented the gossiping scene from No Son of Mine. “They are horrible, or I am drunk?...We don’t see them as friends.”

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Katy re-presented the America scene, even though it’s in the show, with a few adjustments. However the adjustments only made the piece longer and boring. So back to what they had before!

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Vicky and I presented a new idea for Brian and Hannah Tamaki. We spent a few hours working on it, trying to find a new way to kill him, and we decided to have them eat an expensive feast whilst talking about how they are just like all their Māori followers and that you don’t money and a nice house and electricity to be happy - all you need is Jesus. Essentially showing their wealth/greed whilst saying they understand how hard it is economically for their people. So this morning Vicky went to the supermarket and got heaps of food, including a roast chicken and chocolate mousse and popcorn and melon... 

And we showed the scene today, without having really rehearsed...or having had lunch. The showing didn’t work however. It wasn’t funny, or particularly shocking, or clear. Philippe said we don’t see Bouffon actors, we just see a big idea and two pigs. 

He spoke about how the image of food doesn’t take the audience immediately to the idea money. It takes us to food. Or fat people perhaps. I argued that poor Destiny Church followers could never afford a meal like this, but I get it, theatrically it doesn’t read. Today I came to understand more clearly the difference between an image and an idea. For Charles’ care home scene, we see him in bin. That’s an image. It says “look, in a way, we put old people in the bin.” But then they have an idea to talk about that image. They have tactics and fun to elaborate and destroy. Whereas with our scene today, we see food, and then we see us eat food. There is no surprise for the audience. 

Philippe also spoke to me about how I need to not be too much with the character. It has to be me - not a character, having fun through an imitation or action, to say fuck you and to destroy. To start, I should imagine I am a Bouffons - one of the people banished and spat on. And then imagine that Bouffon in front of 1000 of the people that banished me. And decide what it is I want to do to get those people. 

I think with Brian Tamaki I’ve fallen into a bit of a trap because I’m trying to get one man, not 1000 men. And I’m trying to talk about a mixture of money and religion. It’s not impossible. But what I showed today, and what I have presented the last few times, have gotten further and further away from destroying him and speaking about what I want to speak about. I was closest to him the very first time I presented him. When I had fun to make him look like an idiot, and then to undercut what he was preaching with laughter.

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Lee and Sam presented a new scene about HIV in which Sam sat in a trolley speaking about happy thoughts, whilst Lee in the background put a quarantine sign on her trolley and sprayed disinfectant from afar, and did other funny things suggesting he didn’t want to go near her. 

But then at the end they both laughed at the audience and the kissed each other and rubbed tongues with each other. Philippe said “not too bad” but that he didn’t love Sam, and “we have to love the actor.”

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Lee also presented a number in which he came out on stage to this Billionaire track that he’s used several times before (I’m not sure exactly why he chose to use it this time) and then imitated Tony Blair.

Whilst he imitated Blair, Charles would pop his head up from above the wings and say with a light laugh “war criminal”. Philippe said we don’t love Lee, and also it was unclear what the message was. “What do you want to say?”

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WEDNESDAY NIGHT SHOW:

We had another good show tonight. André and I did the best we’ve done yet, and my latin-babble walk-by bit is becoming lighter and more fun. It was a bit shorter tonight because Akron has decided to pull out of the show (there was a bit of drama just before we went on yesterday and he didn’t want to perform then). So the show is now only 40 mins or so, which is short. But what can you do? Philippe’s critique tonight: “Not too bad...I didn’t write anything.” He then said he’s not sure if that’s because he liked it, or because he was lazy. It’s because it was good! 

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We all got yellow envelopes today as well with official documents inside them. I got some pieces of paper that will help me if I need to get another French VISA - a bit boring for me - but many people received their diploma for completing the full two years at the school! Congratulations friends! I have to wait till the end of Clown at the end of the year for me.

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Charles also said something after the show tonight that made me think. He said he’d learned a lot from working with other people on numbers during this workshop, and he encouraged us to help each other and work as a team. This is something I haven’t done much of this workshop. And I tend not to do it so much outside of school either. I’m a bit of a loner when it comes to making work. I stick to myself. But I’d like to start working with others more. Tomorrow, I’m thinking about creating a dance number of Captain Cook to say fuck you to the colonialists of New Zealand. This will be me by myself trying to make a silly dance. But maybe I won’t do it. Maybe instead I’ll offer to help other pieces. Because I’m doing the Captain Cook thing now because I didn’t get round to it before. But rushing it now isn’t going to do it justice. And I’m not going to prove anything by doing it. I’ll test something. But I know that with time, I could make a good Bouffon scene saying what I want to say. And with only two days left with all my friends, maybe it’s better to get stuck in with people and relax and enjoy their company.