"The Best Is The Human Being. There Is Nothing Better Than The Human Being. Nothing."

Today Maria-Luisa and I got up and presented the Auto-Course scene from The Seagull which we didn't get to do on Friday because she was sick.

We performed, and it was just okay. Philippe's feedback was mostly directed at Maria-Luisa at first (as well as the fact that the seagull shouldn't be in a sack, which it was for our scene). He rambled on about how she looks like an idiot. And then he looked at me and said "and you too!"


He got us to perform it again, 1st as if performing for God ("for this moment, let's imagine that I am God") in which we could sing and dance the text. But I was awful at that. Then as if we were esteemed guests at an opera. We sat on chairs looking straight ahead whilst music played behind us, and when the music faded out we had to stand and make a speech to the masses, speaking the text. But neither of us were fantastic at that either.


Then he got people to pour water all over our heads. He got Maria-Luisa to sing a lullaby like this - looking for a simple beauty. Then with me, he got me to put on a jacket, a straw hat, to stuff my cheeks with toilet paper, and to have a walking cane. Then he got me to speak with a posh English accent, turn my head to Maria-Luisa, and say "I love you...I'm a writer he he he" (then turn to the audience and say "she loves writers he he he")  and turn back to her and say "I studied literature at Cambridge he he he" and then he got me to go on a walk with her in this way.


I did it, and explored a bit - taking what he'd asked me to do and rolled with it a bit - but I was too hesitant. Too much trying to get the exercise right - to meet the requirements and tick the boxes - and not enough exploring and discovering. This is understandable in a way, because often when actor's do things he hasn't told them to do he yells at them, but for me it wasn't a problem. Also, I'm so busy trying to stay light and subtle that I don't even think about anything else.

Afterwards he said it's good for me to change my appearance. I'm "always this nice guy - a bit boring - from New Zealand." With what I did then, I could be a 40 year old man, and that could be fun for me to play.

I'm still feeling like I want to break through something. Like I'm not totally committing. I asked him about this later and he said "you give, but you stay with yourself. You don't have fun to pretend to be a character." This is true. I've worked hard whilst at this school on showing me and I'm good at that now, but I'm not so good at showing me under a disguise. This is why I was awful at 'Characters'. So now the next step is for me to go there. To enjoy pretending to be someone else. I can do it. I've done it before, lots. But doing it at the same time as showing myself is a new thing for me, I guess. I'm close. And I'm hungry for it. But it will come. Good to know that changing my appearance helps though. It helps me to enjoy pretending to be someone else (I start to understand 'Characters' now!). So I might have some fun with changing my appearance...

~

"The best is the human being. There is nothing better than the human being. Nothing."

"You have to give another colour to the text to listen to the text better."

"When the text comes on the part of the pleasure, we are happy."

"A beautiful actor - it means when you enter we see something beautiful and special absolutely clearly."

"How to be free is the problem for everybody."

~

Steph worked her monologue again. Philippe got her to dress like a boy and to imitate Charles, and in this way do the text. Then to dance tango like an Argentinian 'puta' with Andre whilst doing the text.


He said with her "she plays a horrible little character - an idiot - when she feels insecure." But when she feels like this, this is the time for her to show her true self. This takes real courage.


"You can't do anything if you don't believe you have something special to give to the audience."

~

Ben worked on Hamlet's famous soliloquy:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

Philippe offered a bunch of different games. Shout! Whisper! Laugh! As Rodin's The Thinker. Like a duck! A professor! A clown!

And then Ben took over and went into a big crisis. Dropping the text and instead making fun of the process and talking about how ridiculous everything is he's being asked to do - but in a fun playful way. He went on like this for quite a while - trying to get us to like him essentially. But Philippe said nothing - just let him go. Then Philippe finally asked him whether he was going to do anything with this crisis, or just keep on using his tricks to get us to like him. Ben asked him what he should do, but Philippe stayed silent. Ben was confused. Eventually Ben said the text again, this time with the confusion going on inside him. It made the text come alive - it made sense - but he didn't know it. Philippe still said nothing. Ben left the stage thinking Philippe would bang the drum to finish it, but he didn't. So Ben came on again, still so confused. He said the text again. And left again! Then finally returned - not knowing what to do - and said the text in an incredibly simple and subtle and clear way. It was beautiful.

Then Philippe said, like with Saddam Hussein, with Ben "We got him!"

He said Ben was cheating us at first. Using tricks, little characters, 'being funny', to try and earn our love.  He wasn't being truthful. He wasn't showing himself. He was hiding himself.

"Margarine is not butter...everything you present is margarine."

"If you cheat as a human we can't do anything with theatre...You don't put your guts on the table, so we don't pay."


But when he was confused - in total shit - we loved him. "We are happy with this one, and not so happy with your funny guy."


"This guy coming is a guy who could do theatre."

~

Tonight we had a boy's night. A REAL one. With pizza, poker, beers and cigarettes.

The guy's hassled me about blogging about this actually. "Oh my god! Charles wore this...and Ed said this..."

We played a game of Texas Hold 'Em with 8 players. €5 in the pot each.  I played far too aggressively (it works on my iPhone application...) and went bankrupt early in the game. But then somehow charmed Ben into lending me some money - but I lost that. Then charmed Mike into lending me some money - lost that too. But then around midnight Ben, who had a lot of chips, decided to call it a night so I somehow convinced him to let me play for him...

I ended up doing really well (it helps when you have a lot to bet - it's intimidating) and Andre and I were the only two players left in the game. At 2.30am we finished up - at a point where we were arguing over a rule which would have either meant I won the game, or it was a split pot. We stopped then, undecided. But it turned out it was a split pot! Anyway - fantastic night! 

I've always thought I have the potential to become a gambling addict - and tonight totally reinforced that thought. Can't wait for next week's game!