“As An Actor You Always Have To Be With The Kiss Of Someone.”

Lee tried his Ionesco monologue again. “Just boring.”

~

Mia and Thomas re-presented their Seagull scene. This time with new games and lot of physicality. But it was pushed, and the movement seemed to go against the core effect of the scene.

“All the the scene is to charm him.”

“He knows you are dangerous and he keeps a distance because he received such a big shock when she left with Trygorin.”

Thomas made a €50 bet with Philippe last night that he wouldn’t be boring today. 

I don’t know what the outcome was. I wouldn’t say Thomas was boring. We just didn’t love him in this way.

~

Christine and Duncan re-presented the seduction of the pubescent boy scene. I helped direct them earlier in the day. I made a new shape with clearer games, and tried to knock the ‘sickness’ out of Christine’s performance (strange facials and voice intonations). In their performance I think Christine was less ‘sick’, and the shape of the scene was okay, but Philippe said that now Christine’s character was “too much I fuck him.” This is because I was under the impression that she had fun to tease this pubescent sex-ready 17 year old boy. To get him excited. And then at the end of the scene the manager comes so it doesn’t happen. But Philippe said it’s not supposed to be like that. They don’t fuck. We don’t think they’re going to fuck. We think, they could fuck. So a clear chemistry. But what I directed was clear come-ons from the woman. She drops her lipstick - he goes to pick it up - when he looks up he finds his nose in her cleavage - etc.

“Bad direction. Boring actors. You don’t do it.”

Still I was happy with my attempt at direction. I’m getting better at creating a good shape - the musicality of a scene - with games for the actors. But the next step, which I’m not doing right now, is helping the actors to be beautiful and light and have pleasure within the scene. In a way that’s the actors job, but I’d like to be a director that can help find this too.

~

Mike tried the opening prologue to Romeo + Juliet.

“Who says after this text we are going to see the best love story in the world...?”

~

Lee also tried his A Man Who Hates Monologues monologue. He was horrible again. He seems to keep wanting to wing it and see what happens. To discover something with the audience. But it never works. Philippe got Katy to sit on Lee’s knees and kiss him now and then, whilst he said the text softly and simply. In this way he was more open, beautiful, and we loved him.

“As an actor you always have to be with the kiss of someone.”

“You have to discover your neutral is not your neutral. It’s when you are kissed.”

~

Philippe worked a bit with Ben and I on our erection scene. He got me to speak in a lower voice, and play really deep and serious. With a big preoccupation. Something difficult to tell. And he got us to give a little tiny gap between lines for the spectators. “Don’t forget my timing for the spectators.” To breathe, and so they can whisper to each other “the actors are good.”  It feels strange to do. Like the scene pauses now and then for no natural reason. But I guess the theatre isn’t natural. And if we don’t stop now and then then it can be an overload for the audience. Too fast.

~

Akron, Vicky, and Thomas also re-presented their Bouzin scene as Philippe wanted to see it. I’d come in early today and directed them too - really just Akron as Philippe wasn’t happy with what he was doing any more. I tried to give Akron clear games - things he could play at certain parts throughout the scene. I helped him stop leaving strange long pauses that make the rhythm of the scene die. And I tried to direct specific moments that help us as an audience come to him. i.e. He enters, see’s the woman in the room, and then speaks to her. But I tried to direct him to have a moment where he prepares to speak to her. So we as spectators see what he’s about to do (the oh no moment - because he’s a weirdo) and then he does it. Tried to break up the moments a bit.

It was hard work. We worked fast and I was strict. But I was happy with myself for also being sensitive to Akron’s needs. He doesn’t cope so well with change and working quickly, so I was patient with him and congratulated him along the way. And he worked well.

In the showing of it Philippe said he was “too heavy” which is something I didn’t work on too much. He said the first night Akron was light because he was really scared. He was sensitive. But after that he’s become heavy.

~

Thursday Night’s Show

A better show tonight! According to Philippe anyway. But it was. The audience (we had new people! Including Mia’s mum from Switzerland!) were very quiet, but with us, and they laughed during the Vaudeville...and then applauded a lot at the end of the show.

Puck is good - but I could have more fun to be more light, and more strange.

Bastard is good - but Philippe said it’s good to have the kiss on the cheek from Katy in the scene. We’ve done it once or twice, but if my timing is a little off then there’s not enough time for the kiss. But Philippe says it’s good. It helps the audience dream that perhaps we fuck in real life.

Ben and I rehearsed our erection scene a lot today. Trying to set a routine for Ben that he could repeat. Which meant we could create particular moments, and it solved the issue of missed lines. But in performance most of it went out the window. But it didn’t matter. Ben was on fire with his strange sounds and movements. And certain key moments were still there. So perhaps that is better for us. Ben can play freely, but there are certain points he has to hit. Well it worked. It was very funny. For me - I can be more constipated. Really consumed by my issue. In my own world. GO THERE. Oh, and the little gaps worked pretty well with the audience!

Bucket scene was good again. Philippe said we should leave the little gaps in this scene too. To give timing for the spectators. Because we go through the text quite quickly in certain places. It’s a subtle thing. Because it doesn’t mean slowing down the rhythm of the scene. It just means there are certain fixed points in the text.

Philippe ended up not cutting anyone for tomorrow night, which was a relief! I didn’t want to have any more quick changes. And I also didn’t want anyone to miss out on playing Friday night. Because I think tomorrow night will be our biggest audience and everyone will be in a good mood.

~

After the show I went with a few others to have dinner at a really good Italian restaurant in Étampes with Mia and her mum. It was really nice. And we caught the train back home together, all sharing a bottle of red wine. Mia’s mother, Michelle, trained at Le Coq and works in theatre. It was interesting to hear what she thought of the show. She said it looked like we were all a bit tense - trying to survive - or to please Philippe. Like this was stopping us from having pleasure. Which is a problem. And it is shitty to see his daunting shadow there right in the middle of the audience every night. We need to perform and have pleasure regardless of him. It shouldn’t be for him, or because we want to survive, but because we love to perform. I suspect on Friday we’ll get this point, because there’s no opportunity to be cut anymore (phew) but it’s a shame this happens at the school. Michelle also spoke about how it’s a shame not everybody got to perform - to be in the show. I agree. Having people try and try to get in but not succeeding does cut the group a lot. I see why Philippe does it. It can cause a good big crisis for people. But it sucks as well. And at the end of a workshop can really screw with people’s sense of themselves just before they leave and enter in to the real world again. But this is the world we choose to enter...Why? Michelle asked... Good question. For me, there’s something good about the pain. About the struggle. You come out stronger. And I like it.