Frustrating Friday

The Royal Wedding scene was shown again, this time taking into account the feedback that Philippe gave last time. They also included a bit at the end in which Kate Middleton dies in a car crash, finds herself in a strange new place, and Diana appears (me, as a transvestite, covered in blood, and with a dead baby hanging from my groin) and says “welcome to the family.” Philippe said now there were too many things in the number and it wasn’t clear. “We don’t see any actor. Just idea.” Philippe’s lack of good English doesn’t help, because he thought the scene was depicting the Queen’s Jubilee, when the text was clearly talking about William and Kate...but anyway!

~

Mark, André, Steph, and Charles presented a new never-before-seen scene before directed by Thomas (they made it in secret!) which says fuck you to the recent trend in China for people to give their kidneys away in exchange for an iPad.

In the scene Charles is rolled in and tries to get out of the surgery but is denied because he already signed away his fate. The crazy Chinese surgeon goes ahead anyway cutting him up with a chainsaw and other tools, and at the end a kidney is pulled out...but the patient is dead. So the iPad isn’t given away after all. It was a good scene - light and clear - and Philippe said “we will work [it].” Apparently the number is based on a true story, and that there is a big market for selling kidneys and other body parts to the American market. Yuck.

~

Ben and Duncan presented the “Adam’s masturbating” text but it was slow, sexual, and boring. Philippe then got ten Bouffon to sit around Ben and Duncan (who were on a chair) and laugh whilst Ben and Duncan said there text really fast and light. 


“It’s better with a lot of fun...It’s not serious serious...It has to be laughing laughing.”

~

Mia, Vicky and Mark presented their Swiss number about the minorets. Mia and Vicky had great Swiss costumes, looking like an Oktoberfest couple, and they entered yodelling in harmony.

 It was very funny and we loved them. And then when Mark enters in drag and belly dances on the Swiss flag, it was a really great image. “We take it.”

~

Duncan wanted to present his Jesus text from No Son of Mine but Philippe decided he should try it at the end of André and Sophia’s No Son of Mine scene like they had spoken about a while ago. But because everyone has been so busy they had never found a moment to rehearse it together, and André and Sophia hadn’t practiced since the last time they presented, so it understandably wasn’t the best performance. And of course Philippe said “not like this.” This was a frustrating moment for all because Duncan didn’t get to show how he had prepared, and André and Sophia had shown something they weren’t ready to show, and then they get told they’re bad. Well duh!

~

Barbara presented her ‘dickheads’ text again but this time dressed normally, and played really normally. Just like herself. It was as if she’s given up on Bouffon and was just trying to be charming as herself. It was a strange choice. And like this as well, Philippe killed her. “Too boring.”

~

Duncan and Sam also presented the number they’d done a while ago which Philippe said would be in the show. But Philippe changed his mind saying the piece is now “sentimental and boring”. He’d forgotten that a while ago he had said that even though the scene wasn’t fantastic, it was a great step for the two actors on stage in terms of their lightness and subtlety. So that was a big blow for Duncan.