Be Careful. I Am Coming.

We started today with a game of dancing with a partner and secretly winking if you're bored. And if Philippe accuses you of being bored with your partner you have to lie and convince him otherwise. I had a great time lying that "I love Mike" and that "if I had a European Passport I would give it to him because he really, really needs one".

Chiara:

Philippe got her to dress really smartly as a man, and led her to walk slowly and speak with a lower voice. She eventually was whipping out pretend guns with her hands and blowing away the smoke.

"We don't say 'Ah! She want's to be here for sure'...we are not sure you want to give everything. A bit of hesitation. We can see that. But we can see you could be absolutely beautiful if you say one day 'Be Careful! I am coming."

Emma:

Philippe got her to dress in white, to wet her hair, and to wear black lipstick. Then to speak in a posh upperclass British accent (which he's asked her to do a few times - I imagine because she is British and could have fun making fun of people from her home she thinks are ridiculous). She ended up singing a lullaby - a key in to her finding sensitivity in herself and with us - and then spoke from that place.

Thomas:

Dressed like a bit of boy scout, Thomas was led by Philippe to sing patriotic Austrian songs. Eventually Thomas was banging Philippe's drum in a marching beat and screaming out his text like a Nazi. Philippe then got Anna to be his blonde sister, holding on to his arm and looking into Thomas' eyes now and then as if she really really loved him. It was totally alive. Hilarious. And a bit scary. "A fascist. But a bit sentimental." Good sentimental.

"It's good to always have something...like earth...Then it's not you speaking. You are less scared. It is you speaking through earth."

"It's fucking difficult to exist in the imagination of the spectator."

This idea of as actor I need to always come on stage with the idea 'Be careful...I am coming' has stuck with me. It's about confidence, challenge, fun, risk, and self-belief. When an actor comes on stage with this I am almost always happy to have them on stage (I'm only not when they are aggressive). I feel safe with them as an audience. Whereas when an actor is doubtful and nervous I usually worry about them. This 'Be careful...I am coming' will be the thing I saw in the second year actors when I watched the Clown showing a month ago. I find it really inspiring and I'm getting closer to having this attitude when I come on stage everyday. I can feel it.

By the way, I've been writing 'Chorifeur' for the french word that means chorus leader. But it's actually spelt 'Coryphée', which is like 'Coryphaeus'- a Greek word meaning 'the top of the head'.

Also, I tried on a red nose today and looked at myself in the mirror and fell in love with the red nose - and myself with it on! I'm going to have to find a way to return and do mask now!