Time is running out for this workshop now. Only three more classes to go. And you can feel that people are forcing themselves to get up before it's too late. Jamie said this always happens. People wait at the beginning then rush at the end, and inevitably some people miss out. I felt a little bad for getting up today because of this. Because I'd gotten up yesterday too. But I was going up today so that Claire could work on her scene (as Akron wasn't in class today), and also, in a way 'you snooze you loose'. Often after Philippe has said "alors, who?" and there's a long silence in which nobody gets up, I will get up, because what's the point in wasting that time? I do try to let other have their go but if nobody takes it I will. (Such a change from my last time at this school - more confidence, less fear).
So when Philippe sent Christine to get changed Claire and I got up and did the Jason/Medea scene. No help this time. More of 'go and present me something - lifting the stakes a bit now.' I played steel. "He gives a lot." Claire was having trouble. We went off to get changed - her in white and me in Greek Tragedy cloak. We then did our scene with the scaffolding tower fallen on the ground like a fort. And Claire sitting on a chair inside it. And me on the outside of it, with a stick which I could hit the fort with. "Play with the rhythm of hitting whilst you speak." Claire still had trouble giving enough. She was quite afraid and visibly. "I'm holding back because I don't want to push." But she was pushing in a way. Philippe kept asking questions to the audience throughout the scene - "is she boring?" - which I guess is his way of helping her. Of putting a certain amount of pressure on her to try and get her to do something else. To take a risk. To surprise herself. Sometimes this works. But today Claire wasn't coping with it so well, although she definitely tried. But bigger leaps are required I think.
He eventually got her to speak like the Queen of England, and then the wife of a Canadian Prime Minister, and then as if her lips were really tight and she had to push to get the words out (Claire is doing 2nd year Clown right now too, and in both class she keeps getting told she is "too nice"). She started to find something with this aching uncomfortable way of talking. It fit the text too (although oddly, most things do, which makes me think as a director - approach the actor first, not the text). I was standing to the side of the action with my stick for a while whilst Claire worked, trying to be Earth in a human way and feeding in to her. But when it was my turn I thumped into this booming earthy voice with strong and slow movement. People laughed a bit at first, because it was ridiculous compared to the rather domestic level that Claire had been playing at, but I stayed with it. Every time I had text Philippe played this jungle-beat music underneith me and got me to go bigger and bigger. So soon I was wacking my stick against the scaffolding and leaping here and there basically screaming with my voice. Big eyes. Full of violence. Towards the end I was actually trying to find other shades, to be less full on, but Philippe wanted me to go bigger. "Give us five times as much." So I was being huge. Really big. Screaming:
"GIVE ME THE BODIES TO BURY AND TO MOURN THEM!"
"Not bad...it could be good theatre."
I was surprised again that Philippe didn't say I was pushing. Because I was at the end of my voice, and really giving a lot with my body and energy. I was really loud and really big. But he said nothing to me about pushing. Where as Claire was really small compared to me yet he said she was pushing. I guess it's not about scale. It's about whether you push what you're giving, or just give it. That's perhaps not the most articulate way of putting it. But it's a bit like those 'giving presents' exercises Tom McCrory used to make us do. And I guess there you can force a gift on to someone (HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LOVE ME!!) or just give the gift in a way that lets the receiver receive it on their own accord. Anyway, if I can go that big and be told it's "not bad" then I'm going to trust that I can go there. And oh boy, it's fun when I go there. I love being that big. It's a rush.
Rocio and Maria got up after us. Philippe got Rocio (who he says has the disease of having 'the shitty theatre - Théâtre de la Merde - stuck in her head, probably because of her professional theatre experience) to act as if she were an overweight Spanish woman who worked in a Renault car workshop, and had a young worker called Pablo who she occasionally made short but passionate love to.
Like this she was alive and having fun. Instantly watchable. "She is Clytemnestra in a garage." He got her to scream in spanish "I want your body! Not your soul. Just your body!" Amazing how something so unlikely, so surprising, can make the scene work. And it's because it is unique to Rocio the actress. And when we see her alive, we see the character alive. Again: the actor first, then the character. In the past I've always thought it was the other way round.
Anna said something good today when people were discussing whether or not they were going to get time in class to work with Philippe before we 'present' on Thursday in front of both classes, in order to be chosen to show on Friday. She said "It's really all about what you discover when you do it" and I totally agree. Although I still haven't totally shaken off the want to be told 'I'm good', or to just get the exercise 'right'. But I'm getting much better. And after today, I felt very little need for reassurance. My time on stage is for me and my learning. Got to remind myself of this.
Sorry CSI. I'm not your man.
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