Ripped Pants

This morning I went to get my medical check to complete the final stage of getting my visa verified (OH MY GOD FRANCE!!).

Shaaaame! When my name was called out, I got up, tripped up on two people sitting in front of me, bailed, and completely ripped my pants. Completely. Shame. :S

But, after entering 4 different rooms for short checks (read this, stand there, take off your shirt, pose for the X-ray machine), and acting like my pants were supposed to look like that, I finally got my sticker (mon auto-collant)...which means I can enter and exit the country. Which is a relief considering I'm going to India in less than 2 weeks...

Due to the snow Philippe was late to class today. So he denounced himself and tried to get 20 kisses. It was hilarious! It went one by one to each of us and charmed/apologized to us. "Guy. I have mocked you a lot. Often I go home and regret just how much mocking I have done to you..."

In class, Andre and Daniele continued to work their scene. Andre ended up doing all if his lines consecutively because Daniele didn't reply in Italian...so he just kept going. He was great. Big aura, good body, movement, timing/rhythm/pace, and voice. "It's good...Good space."

• In Greek Tragedy, look up - not in the eyes of your partner.

Daniele had trouble giving enough - he often seems quite low energy/bored on stage. Philippe got him to speak like he was a young Italian communist wanting to change the world. This gave him a better impulse. Then he got him to speak like an Actor - an angry artist - which gave him a sense of pride and stilled his body. Philippe spoke about how as an audience "we don't think he plays artist, we just see tall, open, beautiful..."

Then Mike did a monologue as Clytemnestra. Philippe got him dressed in a Greek tragedy cloak, with a black curly wig and makeup like a Geisha. He got him to hold a stick and move as if he were blind which made him much more sensitive. He got him to do little screams each time he beat his drum which got Mike to play. And he got his arms tied small and made him into a Bouffon then got him to speak like a camp hairdresser, which made him really loosen up and have fun.

Philippe said it was really good. He said Mike didn't mock when he performed, which is difficult to do considering he was playing a woman. I was actually surprised that Philippe said it was good because I found him annoying to watch because I could see him doubting and judging himself and also because he kept coming out of what he was doing and asking stupid questions and generally being a bit difficult. So I think I let personal things sway my point if view. And as Andre said to me later, it was really good for Mike. And it was a huge step for him. I think I also am a bit jealous!

• Bouffon is the opposite of Greek Tragedy - ugly, dwarves, freaks, handicapped. Greek Tragedy is tall, beautiful, strong, healthy.

Feeling a bit like I'm running out of time to 'prove myself' in this course, to be 'good', as there aren't many days left, and now that classes are focussing on scenes only a few people get stage time everyday. I'm feeling this because I don't feel I have totally gone there yet (even though I think I actually have a few times), because there is going to be a showing of scenes next week and I'd like to be chosen for it, and because I have the urge to try and be as great as Anna and Andre have been onstage. I know all of these, or most of these thoughts, are silly - coming from an insecure and needy place - buuuut lately I've been feeling them a bit. But what can you do? Just get on with it. Relax and enjoy it. Take in everything (I haven't acted onstage for a few days yet I've still learned loads from observing) and when it comes to my time to work, cherish it. It's funny though, I find myself preparing far less at this school than I would for auditions or at drama school. People in class are rehearsing scenes, yet I feel more relaxed and willing to discover it in the moment. Although I think really a mix of both approaches would be better. That's why I've been learning a new monologue - to prepare and then make a strong offer. Although to be honest there's a little dream in my head of performing this monologue and being amazing and chosen for the showing. But I've also learnt it because my scene as Jason, and my scene as Orestes (if I end up ever doing it as Katy has been away due to a funeral) are both in angry bloodthirsty ready-to-kill states, and I'd like to try something a bit different.

It dumped down with snow today! It just started when I arrived at school, and when I left it was EVERYWHERE! And deep! So of course...mega snow fight!!

Thomas about to pummel us!

David about to get what he deserves!

Mia and Thomas did their train busking set outside at the Sceaux station cause the trains were majorly delayed and there were heaps of people waiting around. We sang Xmas carols after. What great friends I have!

Tonight I also had an Impromptu Christmas soirée at my place in which we watched Steph's favourite Xmas movie 'White Christmas' (Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye were great!

Full of play and pleasure! And aren't those old sets and little nudges to the audience that it's not real beautiful?) and had popcorn, mull wine and chocolate. A really lovely night :)

I also was reflecting as I walked through the snow towards school (with my ripped pants) how lucky I am to be here in Paris. How lucky I am to have the support of my friends and family. How lucky I am to have the money to allow me to do this. How lucky I am to have been brought up in an environment in which following your dreams is a good thing. I'm so lucky to be here at this time in my life. And I'm very thankful for the opportunity.