I just read a chapter called 'Fear, The Mind and The Ego' and it's helped me to articulate what I've been going through lately with feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.
Isn't it true that when you sound bad, you feel bad? Don't you feel great the day after you sounded great?...The sad fact is that most musicians [it's a music book but relevant to all artists] judge their value as a person by their level of playing. Therein lies an unhealthy linkage between musical proficiency and self-worth. It raises the stakes for what it means to play badly or well. This puts undue pressure on the act of playing.
I've noticed, especially looking back on my blog, that when I perform well I tend to be happier and more positive about myself, and when I don't, I feel down and hopeless. And when I'm consistently bad it gets worse and worse, and it's hard to climb out of. And this is no good! I can't live my life like this! I need to separate myself from my work as an artist. To give myself a break. To love myself a whole lot more than I have lately.
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