Trick Or Treat!

Friday night:

Cool burlesque brassy band at 'Cirque Elektrique'

Saturday day:

The line for the clown store in Montmartre (who said the French don't like American traditions?)

My personal travel agent.

Saturday night:

I did the scary decorations...

Auggggggh!!!

The Halloween Ambrosia I made went down a treat!

People were a bit stand-offish at first but once they tried it they came back for more!

Thomas jamming on the drums.

Charles looking awful beyond belief. Anna looks strangely attracted...

Sunday:

After a lovely Skype date...I procrastinated ...

"If At Your Entrance We Don't Love You, We Will Never Love You...So It's Good To Have A Good Entrance."

We started the class with the 'wink murder' game. I never realised before, but it helps us learn about how to play minor. Because when you are walking around looking into people's eyes and trying to spot the murderer, you are looking for the game. When we got killed (I was actually a killer, but right at the end there were only three killers left so we got to kill each other) we got to do a big dramatic death, and at the moment where we are about to say who killed us, we die. Most of us got banged almost immediately. I lasted a bit longer - I had good subtlety, space and stillness, but I soon got banged because it seemed that I wasn't dying - I'd actually just eaten "some bad Chinese".

Today we learned about entrances. The director says "Ah! With your special pleasure we start the show." On the stage was a table, two chairs, and a telephone. Two people stand behind the wings. The first enters at the sound of Philippe's drum, with a ball. When the first person to enter feels that their pleasure is diminishing - that the audience doesn't love them anymore - they call their friend to come over (or, if their friend senses they are "pedaling in the sauerkraut" then they can knock on their friend's door). Then the first person to enter passes the ball to their partner who is behind the wings, and that person enters the stage. The improvisation continues.

Recipe for a Good Entrance:

• Enter in major
• Show your pleasure
• Show your face
• Have a fixed point
• Don't talk and walk at the same time
• Take in the space

"If at your entrance we don't love you, we will never love you. So it's good to have a good entrance."

I got up a little later than usual today. Trying a different tact. My scene partner was

Akron - a Canadian guy who has a weird and kind of awkward stiff-body presence when he's on stage. Akron was the one who entered first and I was the scene-saver - the second entrance. Akron felt his pleasure diminish very quickly so called me on the phone. 'I'll come over right away"...Knock knock knock! Although I dropped the ball that Akron thew to me (not the best start, plus I banged my head on the wings secretly too!) I entered with good energy and a voice for the theatre. I had a fixed point and I showed myself to the audience.

"Hey Akron! How's it going? Wow! Nice place."

Boom. We hear text but we do not dream.

Philippe got me to repeat what I just did - but I didn't understand him (what he wanted me to do was walk and talk at the same time, to illustrate that it doesn't work). I just said the text. It's okay. The text is fine. But you have no pleasure. I had to pick one of three girls to come up on stage with me - I picked Maria-Louisa - my best complicité buddy. Then Maria-Louisa had to lift my shift up and tickle my stomach as I said the text in front of the audience. Instant pleasure. I blush, giggle, and feel a bit silly. The audience loves me.

"Pleasure leads the game...If you don't have pleasure, you don't exist in the game."

So how do I get this pleasure again? Without having somebody rub my belly in front of an audience? How do I bring what Philippe calls 'the joy of life' on stage with me? Well, I suppose I can remember that experience, that sensation, and use it as a reference, and try and go back to that feeling every time I go to enter on stage. Or I could fake it.

"We love liars in the theatre. Not people who say the truth."

And if I feel like the audience hates me? Like my pleasure is fading?

"Even if you feel you are going into a catastrophe, you have to pretend you are fantastic."

Okay cool. Well that makes me feel like 'faking' my pleasure might be okay. I'm going to give that a go for a while. Even though I do actually feel pleasure. I love being on stage and with an audience. And the thrill of potentially being fantastic, or awful. And at École Philippe Gaulier there is nothing in between, which I love.

"It's awful or it's not awful. It's not a little bit awful."

It's nice for things to be black and white for a while.

Starting To Get Frustrated With Myself...(Chill)

As it's Thursday, we had Martine for Movement today. We played a great game (I'm trying to note them down so I can lead them one day in the future) in which you have to secretly pick somebody in the room that you 'love' and then walk around the room and try to get as close to them as possible without them knowing. And then pick somebody you 'hate' and try to keep as far away from them as possible. Then do both at the same time! Chaos! I ended up having FOUR people hate me (Rothio, Ling, Fiona and Emma) and nobody loving me. Ugh.

In improvisation with Thomas we did this great 'warm up' exercise (to awesome fast jumpy foreign music - I need to start building a collection of neat foreign music!!) in which there's a whole bunch of stuff - tables, chairs, scarves, sticks, hats, balls, hoola-hoops etc - all over the stage, and then 6 people have to constantly clean the stuff up. When it get's put into a heap nicely somewhere, that becomes the new mess that then needs to be cleaned up! More layers of the game were presented as we went on.

• you have to work together with your team mates
• send kisses to the audience
• can't let things drop on the ground
• have to be soft on the feet
• no noises

Then we played in groups of three people and had to make fun of someone in the class whilst we cleaned up frantically. When I got up, my group forgot about the game when we spoke, and my voice gets too high. I need to keep it at a speaking tone - just with volume and clarity.

Then an exercise in which we imitated the voice and rhythm of a boring sports commentator. I did cricket. "And now we have Richardson stepping up the wicket...last game he stayed on for 35 innings so he's bound to last a wee while..." Thomas said I need to open my eyes more. They disappear without my glasses. And my unlike other people's boring commentators (which were really funny because they so were boring) mine was just boring. I'd say this is because I was feeling a bit of fear and a lack of pleasure. The people that we liked when they were boring had pleasure bubbling in their eyes as they did their commentary. You could tell that they were enjoying themselves and thought it was funny. Whereas mine was too serious. = DON'T TRY SO HARD. DON'T WANT TOO MUCH! The exercise offers an opportunity to play with rhythm though, which I did do a bit. And later in the exercise, when we had to talk about an awesome holiday in Ibiza, but with the same rhythm as the boring sports commentator, I was a bit funnier. I'm good with rhythm. I had no trouble maintaining the commentator rhythm with different text - which others did - but I do have trouble being light and playful and having/showing pleasure. It's a confidence thing I think. And an ego thing. I'm worried I won't be good enough. But if I don't care about being good or bad then what happens? This is the goal...

After we played the game where everybody has a sock/scarf tucked into their back pocket and you have to try and steal everybody's sock but keep yours intact. In a big group, then groups of four, and we had to complement each other in the team and be charming. "Oh Brette. I think you are - the - most - beautiful - Canadian - I - have - ever - seen!" I still struggled to be nice. Even when the text is nice! I'm still forcing it, and it started to get to me today. I started to feel fed up with myself. Frustrated. And I stupidly let some improvised text by another group about how awful I am (I know it's a joke and a game) get to me. Not all of it. Like, the talked about how pasty I am and that's fine. But when they talked about how nasty I am on stage I started feeling like the truth was seeping in. I don't really think it was. Well, it was, but they weren't being serious or nasty. But it just made me feel a bit like the class hates me. Which is ridiculous. But I don't want to be seen as the nasty guy on stage. That's no good! But then I do need to accept that I'm learning and every person's journey is different, and keep looking and feeling for how to be lighter and more charming and have more fun onstage.

I'm over that feeling now. But for a while it got to me. This frustration of continually not being able to do the thing I want to be able to do. A taste of this 'crisis' people at Gaulier talk about - an idea I didn't really buy at first - but I can understand it a bit more now. I didn't buy it because it seemed unnecessary to me to go into crisis because something isn't working. Like, why not just keep trying other ways. Don't let it overcome you. It seems irrational to go into crisis. And you've got to remember that the killings you get that tell you how bad you are are really jokes. They are highly exaggerated truths. And you've got to remember that it is fine to be bad. Yet people still go into crisis. A kind of really low self esteem and inability to find any kind of light. A performer-depression? And then eventually they start to be more sensitive and really look for something else - anything - until they start to find where they need to go. That is the journey of crisis I have been hearing about. "That person's just about to go into crisis. That person is in crisis. And that person's just come out of it." It seemed and still seems a bit crazy to me. But I do kind of understand this feeling of frustration. But I can still see the damn light!

I'm thinking I might try and start writing each blog with a central theme from now on. A bit like how TV episodes work. I feel like I just blabber incoherently about what happened in the day. And maybe I could use these blog posts to develop my skills as a writer. We'll see. I might give it a go. The only problem is I write these late at night when I'm tired and want to go to bed!

Made this this evening for Sha & Sos who are having an engagement party this Saturday back in NZ! :)

"You Could Be Nicer"

Today we did an exercise in which we had to have a conversation with a partner/competitor about what we had for breakfast (or whatever we wanted to care about - Philippe didn't care - it's not what it's about that matters) whilst playing the game of trying to get off our chair without being touched by the person behind us. And we had a person behind our competitor doing the same thing, as well as winking to us when it was time to escape. First to 10 points wins the game. So two things we had to concentrate on at the same time. The conversation (including play, improvisation, complicité) and the game (pleasure, complicité...). I was first up. With Christine from Paris. I had a good voice, and didn't talk too much. We didn't get stopped by Philippe throughout. But in hindsight my complicité with Christine wasn't so good. I wasn't really listening to her, in a holistic voice/body/energy kind of way. I was a bit pushy and aggressive. Only a little bit. But enough to not make us play well together. I played a bit, but not with much pleasure. More of a wanting to do well in the exercise/win the game. I have to keep reminding myself not to do that. It's my habitual place to go. Even though I am actively working on not talking too much and using my voice well, and improvising etc. And I'm doing these with pretty good skill. But these aren't so difficult for me to achieve. But being in a playful free not-pushing place is more difficult. The feedback I got: "We like Christine more...You could be nicer...A bit aggressive." This is true. I didn't really share the ball enough. I played the game too seriously. And nobody likes the person that plays the game too seriously whilst everyone else is in it for the fun!

• Noticed when watching two Italians play and talk about breakfast that they really use their bodies when they speak. I'd like to try this too. Looks like fun. To express with the arms and hands. And to mime out mixing cereal. Or drinking a cognac/coffee breakfast shot. Yum.

• At one point when a pair were really boring Brette from Canada suggested we change the subject away from breakfast and Gaulier replied "it's not the text, it's the actors". We need to see them having fun, looking for an escape. Either "we see Ah! They have pleasure of the game and they put speech over it, or it's just bla bla bla bla."

Afterwards the exercise changed slightly so that people played the game at the back of the stage behind two screens so that we couldn't see them. When somebody successfully escapes they are suddenly visible to us and they have to stay with us, in major, with all the pleasure of their win, until their pleasure starts to fade - at which point they go back and start again. A kind of quick fire pleasure exercise. Really really difficult. I remember Christian saying Gaulier would offer almost impossible exercises sometimes. This seemed like one of them. But over time people got better. Like David from Spain. He could stay on for quite a while in the end because he had pleasure (light in the eyes, in the body, in the space) flowing through him. I didn't get a go unfortunately. But I think it would have been good for me, because it would be a test to figure out my question about faking pleasure or not. The exercise illustrates the importance of entering the stage in major, with your own unique pleasure. When somebody else enters after you whilst you are still on, you must take the role of minor. These are the rules of the theatre. You must always enter in major. "If a director tells you otherwise you must get out of this production immediately!"

At question time Philippe spoke about how he wanted to be a tragic actor when we was young, but he was ridiculous and funny when he tried to do it. Now he's a clown and a teacher. Two things he didn't ever want to be. Your body allows you to do some things in the theatre, and not other things. "You can't always do/be what you love...This is the pleasure of life though. You follow wherever it takes you."

I am feeling really good about my average day in class at the moment. I'm getting up a lot. Often the first to try an exercise. And I often get a few goes at exercises in class, as opposed to just one. So I'm getting my money's worth in one sense. Or my learning's worth might be a better way of putting it. I'm being active and courageous and I'm proud of myself for that. Now I want to start risking more once I'm up. Got to remember it's good to be bad. Here I can discover.

I need to follow my fun. My pleasure. And I need to play and risk to find this.

Paul, me, and Céleste having a playful risky pleasureful time. I'd kill me in this photo though. The other two seem to be having much more fun!

"Don't Hide Your Sensitivity With Aggression"

Annnd back to aggressive today! Ha! It's hard!

We started off with an exercise in which we had to pretend to look for a child hiding under a blanket. A game of hide and seek. And you have to use your voice and send impulses that make the child giggle (give them room, tickle them with your voice). I got up first and was with Zoe from Australia. One of us was to be in Major and the other in Minor. But I thought we'd have a turn with one of us in major the whole time, then another turn with the other in major. But we were actually supposed to 'pass the ball' and both have turns in major/minor. My mistake! So we got killed. Lack of complicité - mostly on my behalf - need to look at my partner damnit!

A few other people had a go but we weren't getting anywhere quickly so Philippe decided to change the exercise in order to save the day from 3 hours of boredom! So we did the same dancing and catching the ball game we did yesterday, except when we get the ball and we have to be a star we play the hide and seek calling game by ourselves. I did okay. Lasted quite a while (some got killed before even speaking because they were boring) but then got killed because I sounded like I was actually angry that I couldn't find the kid - didn't find the fun. = Aggressive. It's such a subtle thing for me. But I wasn't as sensitive as I was yesterday. Getting better though. I'm more free on stage. Less nervous. Better listening and pleasure (although I fake 'pleasure' with my eyes and a smile sometimes - well, I use them to find it/show it I guess - and they actually help to make me feel pleasure - so maybe that's ok - but I wonder...) and I have good body/voice control.

Philippe talked a lot about killing the characters we put on to hide our real selves - our beauty.

• For Katie from USA: "I kill this character" (she plays George Bush's wife).
• For Akron from Canada: I have to kill this monster [he play's a kind of Igor monster/awkward dad]...it's hiding your real beauty"

"As actor's we have to show the best of ourselves. Our sensuality, beauty, imagination, fantasy and freedom."

It got me thinking - I haven't been called a character as yet. Does this mean I have one? Or not? I do feel like I am playing something of a character when I am on stage. I'm playing a kind of fun playful stage version of me. So maybe that's okay. What's the difference between the character (like a 'cowboy') and what I'm doing? Maybe there are extra cover ups I guess. I feel lucky that I don't have many cover ups to hide who I am due to my drama school training.

We then had a 'modeling' exercise in which we were all models for Yves Saint Laurent.

Groups of five people walking from the back of the stage towards the audience all at the same time. I fell into trying to do the thing I thought Gaulier was looking for again. I didn't get any feedback saying "I want too much" or anything, but I know it. I need to find my way of being beautiful. Find the way to be a model that I get pleasure from! And I need to play the way I want. Lead the teaching so I learn to play where I like.

Later in the class he said this about Akron: "When he wants to hide himself he is aggressive." There you go.

Anna again was awesome. She didn't do the still and constrained, slow motion walking with head and nose up high which most others did (because this is what Philippe had led many to do). Rather, she had this kind of rebellious fidgety swagger going on - she was playful and totally watchable because of it (it's amazing how when there's five people on you find the person you like watching the most and ignore the rest).

After the 'selected models' got to parade again, this time they got to say three words like "you're worth it" (basically all of them died the second time - it's hard) I tried again in the 'awful models' category. I decided to go for something completely different so I modelled as Randy from Wannabe and my words were "yeah girl".

I was awful again! People really wanted to kill me. Ha! But it was fun for me. And I played and was freer and a bit silly. Not the best for showing my beauty clearly, but a good little step away from trying to be good for me.

At question time I asked if Philippe could elaborate a bit on what he means by people playing characters in Le Jeu. He said when he talks about character like this it means "when you hide your sensitivity with aggression." I think he said I am around the area (although he might have everybody when he said "you"?) of being open and showing myself (I'm gonna go with he was talking about me and keep searching around the area I have been - I feel close to it).

Lynn from Canada/Chile asked a question about fear. Philippe replied: "fear is a good friend to help you listen and see better...or it kills you...but fear is a good friend of an actor".

"The fun opens the mind, the imagination box, of the spectator."

After class I went and played with my little French friends Céleste and Paul. No hide'n'seek today. Instead we played 'Teacher', in which Céleste was a school teacher and Paul and I were students. Paul was very obedient. I was deliberately naughty. Céleste was SUPER strict. I got sent to timeout so many times. It was so much fun. I'm going to see them again tomorrow and their mum Marié and I were laughing because tomorrow I will get to be the teacher and the tables will turn!!

The 'bad' cross I got drawn on my face by Madame Céleste for being naughty in class. A couple (who turned out to speak English and were really cool) reminded me I had it when I sat next to them on the Métro!

And finally...I'm reading this book called Shantaram at the moment. Amanda recommended it.

Some text that reminded me of Le Jeu and the special something we need as performers:

'Indian actors are the greatest in the world... because Indian people know how to shout with their eyes.'

"Charming"

I was "charming" today! "Not so bad". "Not aggressive". That's great to hear because I'd constantly being getting the feedback that I was too aggressive.

The exercise which we pretty much did for the entire class with Philippe was one in which we dance to music in a large group and someone has a ball, and when they find complicité with someone else they pass the ball to them. The music stops. The person who received the ball stays perfectly still. Fixed point! Says "thank you for passing me the ball my little friend" and then turns to the audience in major and calls out "Hey Dad! Look at me! I'm in major! I'm in Sceaux, in Paris! With all my new friends! And right now I have the ball! So everyone is looking at me! It's great!" etc.

When it was my turn I was in a good zone. A bit nervous. But I had just previously reminded myself that I didn't need to impress anyone or be great at the exercise, but rather should use the opportunity to have fun, play, and discover. Which I did. Had good pleasure, and good bodily control (a lot of people got killed for being too tense in their bodies, walking oddly etc), and took my time and didn't talk to much. Philippe would say "shut up" to a lot of people who never stopped talking. He said things like "Take your time. Take your space. Don't talk too much. You're Too Small. Nose up. Head straight. Look to the horizon." And he talked about how actors must have a large aura. Fill the space. But when you speak and move, follow impulse. Let a word or two come out, listen to them, where do they land? Next word...

A wee bit into my time calling out to Dad he started playing some slow orchestral music and he told me to listen to it as I go. This slowed me down a bit. In talking and movement. It made me more sensitive. I whispered "dad". And I sung a bit too. And I played and discovered. I went with the music and so my calls to dad got a bit fake-emotional and epic and melodramatic and it was fun. I really gave in to it and took risks (I could take more though) and it felt great. It's hard to describe the state I was in. I guess I wasn't pushing - I was being sensitive. But I wasn't being too small either. I had life and energy. Pleasure and complicité. I looked at my audience, and my classmates on stage. And I followed impulses with my voice and movement. When I talked to Thomas the Austrian afterwards he said I was fluid in my movement. And Zoe said I was kind of 'sitting back on it'. That makes sense.

Anna also did a great job. She really took her time and space but held a great energy. She didn't even use her voice when calling out to her dad. She kind of mouthed it. And at times used a bit of voice which was really funny. It was mysterious and surprising. And exciting. She did it her way - which was kind of cheeky and raw and sexy/*clenches fist and roars*.

The class turned into a bit of a lesson in 'beauty' today. Lots of people got worked on after me. Philippe was quite strict about body - posture, walking, head to one side etc. He talked about the characters we portray as 'ourselves'. "Daniele does many things to hide himself". "Lynn plays the cowboy...I have to kill this cowboy". "In the the theatre we want to see *haaaa*, not a stateworker". "The character you play when buying cigarettes is not for the stage. On the stage you have to show something totally fantastic." "You have to think, I have to be beautiful". "The stage is not the street." "When you are beautiful we dream about you. We are happy."

One great moment today: The three italian's from our class walking down the stage towards us slowly trying to be beautiful. To the song Volare. It just made me realise how amazing the mixture of people in my class is!

Le Week-end En Photos

Friday night:

Saturday:

Catacombs with Fiona and Zoe:

A physical theatre show called 'Push Up' which was part of the Festival d'Automne a Paris (free ticket given by Franc from class):

La Cerisaie (The Cherry Orchard) by Anton Tchekhov at Theatre L'Odéon (really beautiful visually!):

Sangria at 'Bar 10' afterwards:

Sunday:

Soiree at my place:

Played the Irish Hat Game (awesome!) + That's Jean-Luc (mon père français) in the far right corner!

"Will Is Good, But It's Fucking Boring"

Got to school about an hour early today! Ha!

In movement we started with a freestyle dance warmup to a Bob Dylan song which went for 8 mins! Good song but when will it end?? Then a lot of stretching (my hamstrings have always been and are still BAD) and singing (nice to do something I'm strong at).

In improvisation:

• Dancing with a partner. Wink at Philippe if your partner is boring, then when the game stops lie that it wasn't you that winked. If Philippe accuses you and your partner of having a boring time - absolutely deny it. Lie with pleasure and a lying (slightly higher and musical) voice.

• Grandma's Footsteps again - This time with just two people at a time, and together making fun of the person playing Grandma - "When we say bad things about people, we are happy."

When I did this (my partner was Fiona from Sydney) I was too aggressive. "You're like John Wayne in Vietnam. Not good." He said the game doesn't need real feelings, and that I send negative waves to the audience and to my partner. "You can't be negative with a game. You want too much. You want to be good. We see your will, but we don't see your fun. Will is good, but it's fucking boring....It's good to be bad. It helps a lot to be bad. Here, you can discover."

This thing of wanting to do well is going to be big learning for me. It's so engrained in me. How do I try not want to do well? Hmmm. There's time, which is nice.

John Wayne in Vietnam

I had a second go later with Ling from Malaysia. I actively tried to care less about winning the game, but still cared to much about getting the exercise right. This is more the problem for me I think in retrospect. "You're fun is good, but you push too much, like an idiot."

To help us out he got us to gossip with our partners about grandma in a voice so quiet and with our hands covering our mouths so that only we could hear it. The result is a much lighter presence, more pleasure, and less fear. Gives us a good taste of the state we are aiming for.

• Game of using your voice as if you were in a super echoey cave. I got up first as this helps me to not plan anything and to hopefully play and risk more. Usually as a class we don't start to get it till a few groups have gone, so the pressure is off. Plus by going first often there's the opportunity to go again at the end. ;) Nobody seemed to nail the exercise, and Gaulier never really congratulated anyone. I think it was more just an opportunity to practise having pleasure playing with words and sounds, and sharing this with an audience.

With Emma from Bristol, and then Maria from Spain, he spent a bit of time on them guiding them to be "beautiful". "When you are beautiful we see you as a teenager. As a 13 yr old. We see something special." "As an actor I show my soul - but you fight...you move to hide something. You don't want to show something beautiful." This is me with aggression. I'm hiding something simple and beautiful so I need to relax a bit and work on showing that.

He got Maria to sit and sing a lullaby to us. "This is not theatre. Just a friend to a friend" = the tone. The result eventually, after having one of Maria's friends to come and sit by her with their hand on her knee to make her feel less afraid, and making sure she maintains eye contact with us, the audience (by making her wink at someone every time he taps his drum), is very simple and clear without any kind of character at all. Beautiful. You start to see the human being.

"This actor persona of Maria's is hiding her beauty. We love her when she sings. It's simple. A much better place to start from."

"An actor must be unique. Show all their beauty, sensuality, pleasure"...This is why we continue to go and see Shakespeare. To see that in human beings.

Also finished a book today that I've been reading for a while:

I highly recommend it. It looks into consolations for a series of life's troubles (unpopularity, frustration, inadequacy, difficulties etc) by exploring different old philosophers (like Socrates, Epicurus and Montaigne) but in a really witty fun and modern way. This particular bit of text in the chapter Consolations for Difficulties (through the eyes of Friedrich Nietzsche) spoke to me about what I'm doing at the moment:

"...No one is able to produce a great work of art without experience, nor achieve a worldly position immediately, nor be a great lover at the first attempt; and in the interval between initial failure and subsequent success, in the gap between who we wish one day to be and who we are at present, must come pain, anxiety, envy and humiliation. We suffer because we cannot spontaneously master the ingredients of fulfillment."

Waiting for the Métro after looking after Céleste and Paul.

It was paaaaacked!

Friday! End of a fantastic week. Absolutely loving this course, and have finally settled into Paris and feeling comfortable now. Going out for drinks and dancing now!

"You Always Have To Pretend You Know Exactly What You Are Doing"

Woah. My blog posts are way too long! Sorry about that. I will work on compressing them down.

I was half an hour late for Movement today due to the train strikes going on. We'd been told that whilst the strikes are on it's okay if we're late but I couldn't get in when I pushed the buzzer because nobody was around the office. So instead I went into the Sceaux township and finished off the final procedures of getting my visa verified. All done. I've got my visa. My accommodation. My school. My job. All I need now is a bank account and I'm fully sorted. :)

The Sceaux Township.

We had Thomas today for improvisation as Philippe is on his 'garage day'. Thomas is more gentle and gives you clearer feedback on why what you did didn't work. Whereas Philippe gives you something simple then leaves you to figure it out for yourself.

We did some warm up games:

• "Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit" "RABBIT!" ..."Pig Pig Pig" .."PIG!" doh!

• A cool game in which you have to tell a made up story to your partner starting off from a word like 'chocolate' and the your partner can say 'yes' if they want you to continue with what your saying, or 'no' if they want you to go back and revise the last bit you just said. The result is really crazy stories!

• We played various versions of Grandma's Footsteps (in the style of classical ballet, contemporary dance etc). Presence and pleasure are important here. Well, I think pleasure creates presence. And it's important not to have aggression, as in, 'I want something'. This is me! Let it go!

"When we see actors with pleasure there's a big chance the audience will like them."

Also did a (really difficult) exercise in which three people go up on stage and have to 'find a game' without anyone leading, or acting, telling a story. Do this through listening to each other and copying and extending and playing. Most died. After a while we started to "understand it a bit more" (people do need to make offers, and it needs to be shared with the audience).

"You always have to pretend you know exactly what you are doing." - Thomas would help us along with this kind of thinking. "Now! I want to see the great spectacle you've rehearsed for 6 years. Are you ready?"

The final exercise was to one by one walk out from behind the screen at the back of the room into the centre of the stage being 'beautiful' and then sing a lullaby to the audience whilst walking forward. "You have to sell us your beauty. Simple task but very difficult." I walked out with a tall neck and good posture. Looked at the audience as I walked. Everyone laughed! Then started singing 'Twinkle Twinkle' and Boom. "You look like a primary school teacher." I didn't really get this at the time. But I asked Thomas afterwards he said it was a combination of my long neck and my glasses. He said next time don't wear them. I think I'm not going to wear them from now on. They define my face too much and I want to learn about myself without thick black frames! Those that didn't get banged straight away "you can feel their warmth". But Thomas also said "you could be much more beautiful. You are nowhere near your maximum."

I love this stuff in theatre. Pleasure. Complicité. Beauty.

Mike (Canada) and Andre/Tim Carlsen # 2 on the train home.

AND this is my apartment...

Seventeen floors up.

The lounge (looks dark and cold but it's not at all).

The little kitchen.

My bedroom.

The view.

Shorter better blog? I think so.

"You Forgot The Game"

Today we played slapping games!

A game in which you hold your partners chin with one hand, and you hold up your other hand next to your partner's face ready to slap it if they laugh. Complicité in the eyes. Pleasure. Try to make the other person laugh. I was never in a partnership that was in hysterics, but we both had fun. Suli would rock at that game! So would Dan Hannah!

Then played the game where the person in minor puts their hands above their partner's (who is in major) and the major person has to try and slap the tops of their minor partner's hands. And the minor person has to try and avoid getting slapped.

This then moved into an exercise where there are three pairs up on stage dancing to music. The person in major leads the dance, still in the hand slapping position. When the music stops BAM you have to slap! My partner was Maria-Louisa, a beautiful part Mexican girl from Canada. We had great complicité together. From the get go there was pleasure buzzing between our eyes. It sounds a bit wanky, but you totally feel it when there is a good combination. At the end of each group's turn Philippe asks "Did you have good complicité with each other?...If you were in a relationship, would the sex be good after one year? Five years? Twenty? Or maybe just three months?"

Then..."the same exercise, but not the same exercise". This time with text - about how much you are in love with someone in the class - and no music. Except when the music comes on at the end. This is when you slap. I got up and did the exercise with Anna from Sydney. She's really great, a nice girl, with strong presence. Reminds me a bit of Sophie Roberts in terms of qualities. I was in minor first, which I find really easy (I guess because I don't feel nervous - like everyone is watching and listening to me). Today I made sure I didn't talk too much though! Not a big shift. Anna did great. Had a kind of sexual hunger in her voice when she was talking about her lover. And she led me around. And then she won the game I think too. "Not so bad. 4 points!"

My turn in major. I was focussing on having a nice big voice for the theatre, on having complicité with Anna and the audience, and not talking too much (as this was often problems classmates encountered = blablabla blabber mouth). I started well. Playing a bit over the top romantic. Giving room around the text. Sharing with the audience. Maybe not playing with Anna enough, but giving it out and directing it to Christine (a girl from Paris) who I was talking about. When the music played. Wham! Anna got me. "Guy. You forgot about the game. Your score, zero. And Anna...I have changed my mind. You...FIVE!"

I did forget the game. It's harder than you'd think. You have to have pleasure in yourself, and share that pleasure via complicité with your partner and your audience, whilst playing the game, and saying text (and not talking too quietly or too much). Quite a lot of layers of things to think about! This is something I will get better at over time I think.

When Maria-Louisa played she seemed quite serious and then at then at the end of the game burst into laughter: "You have to have pleasure during the game. Not after."

Then we played a game of Musical Chairs.

No dancing or eye contact specified as a rule. Just walking. And you're not allowed to move chairs. So it's not quite the hectic dangerous version we played at CCC in which you potentially could get crushed by Shadon. You have to possess more bodily control! So, if you don't find a chair you have to go up to the back of the stage and sing a song in order to 'save yourself'. After each number Philippe chooses whether you sit further away or closer to him (depending on how bad you were - the best getting to sit closest to Philippe). I missed out on a chair fairly early. I wasn't really thinking about the game again! I had a good start walking up to my singing position. Quite controlled and sensual. Then I began singing 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' and tried to be quite soft and to make eye contact with people. I basically tried to emulate the light and 'beautiful' state I found once in a CCC rehearsal singing The Body Guard song. Sang for a wee bit then got gonged and sent to the bad corner. My voice was a bit shaky. I was a bit nervous. And I didn't really show the 'beautiful' side of my own voice. Next time I will try and be less gentle and more richer and fuller. Those that got chosen to sit closer to the teacher (only about 5 people) seemed to have really good presence (stillness, control, pleasure in the eyes) and sung with a free voice and moved with a free body. Although some people, like Katie from the states, did a musical theatre number (I think it was actually Alanis Morrisette but she did it in the style anyway) dancing around the room from chair to chair. But she committed fully to it and really went there. I wish I'd done something more like that. Maria-Louisa started singing 'Part of that World' from The Little Mermaid before being killed. I wish I'd sung THAT! I could have had a really fun time doing it. So next time, don't pick songs I think will be a bit boring for me to sing. Or rather, don't sing them in a boring way for me!

At the end of the class Philippe was asked the question by Mike "How do you judge good and bad?" to which Philippe replied along the line of "I'm not a judge. I don't judge. That's not my job. My job is to follow where each of you want to go as actors/directors/performers and help guide you to get there." I love that! That is why actors as different as Sacha Baron Cohen. Emma Thompson and Geoffrey Rush can come out of the school and all be great.

After hearing this I thought - I need to start showing where I want to go...Which is big and theatrical and full of life. Why am I doing this subtle little stuff when I don't really enjoy it? I know I can't always be big. But I want to get good at that area first. That's where I want to make I think. That's where I play well. So that's my goal for the next wee while. To start playing bigger.

Two other interesting bits of the class:

1. Philippe explained at the end that his scoring system is fantasy. None of us are really that bad. But it's fun to lie. This makes me relax a bit and want to risk more. Much more.

2. During the love-slap game with Andre and Ciara he stopped Andre and asked him "how do most Australian men talk about love in Australia?" The answer was centred around getting a good root, and not so much about romance like Andre had been playing. Then Philippe got Andre to imitate the Greek men at the Melbourne markets selling fish. "Fish! Get your fish here! We've got big ones, small ones, fat ones, thin ones. We've got Snapper! We've got Wahoo! Anything you want ladies and gentleman! Get your fish here!" etc. Then when Philippe beats his drum Andre was to change the topic of text to sex but keep the rhythm of the Greek market seller. It took him a little while to maintain the rhythm. But when he got it it was fantastic! And he was big and theatrical and alive. I've just got to go there! Philippe said when you play 'love' you can't be conventional. I guess this would be underlining if you did. Although I think I played conventional a bit? Perhaps my swooning took it out of the conventional. Or did it put it more in? I don't know. Plenty more time to figure that out though!

After class I went for a walk to Parc de Sceaux with Anna, Fiona, and Zoe from Australia.

Anna, Fiona and Zoe doing Madonna poses (because I learnt when I had a broken French conversation with an Algerian woman whom I bought a Reine pizza from in Montparnasse that Madonna once performed a massive concert at Parc de Sceaux)

Then went for a quick curry with Fiona and Zoe before going to work to play with Céleste and Paul. I was a tiny bit late (whoops, the métros aren't as quick, or I'm not as quick, as I thought) but it was fine. We read a few stories - Paul really couldn't be bothered with books yet Céleste insisted on knowing the meaning of lots of new words. I had to be quite creative in explaining some things. Like the word "gosh". So we sat at on the couch and I pointed in front of us at an imaginary princess and then we sat back in our seats and gasped and said "Gosh! How pretty!" I'm pretty confident the meaning got through ;) Then we played Hide'n'Go Seek for half an hour. So funny how blasé Paul was throughout. He loved the game. But he'd get found eventually. And then he'd just stroll over and find the other person because he knew where they were hiding!

A day full of games. Life is great.