Tuesday, October 26, 2010

"Don't Hide Your Sensitivity With Aggression"

Annnd back to aggressive today! Ha! It's hard!

We started off with an exercise in which we had to pretend to look for a child hiding under a blanket. A game of hide and seek. And you have to use your voice and send impulses that make the child giggle (give them room, tickle them with your voice). I got up first and was with Zoe from Australia. One of us was to be in Major and the other in Minor. But I thought we'd have a turn with one of us in major the whole time, then another turn with the other in major. But we were actually supposed to 'pass the ball' and both have turns in major/minor. My mistake! So we got killed. Lack of complicité - mostly on my behalf - need to look at my partner damnit!

A few other people had a go but we weren't getting anywhere quickly so Philippe decided to change the exercise in order to save the day from 3 hours of boredom! So we did the same dancing and catching the ball game we did yesterday, except when we get the ball and we have to be a star we play the hide and seek calling game by ourselves. I did okay. Lasted quite a while (some got killed before even speaking because they were boring) but then got killed because I sounded like I was actually angry that I couldn't find the kid - didn't find the fun. = Aggressive. It's such a subtle thing for me. But I wasn't as sensitive as I was yesterday. Getting better though. I'm more free on stage. Less nervous. Better listening and pleasure (although I fake 'pleasure' with my eyes and a smile sometimes - well, I use them to find it/show it I guess - and they actually help to make me feel pleasure - so maybe that's ok - but I wonder...) and I have good body/voice control.

Philippe talked a lot about killing the characters we put on to hide our real selves - our beauty.
  • For Katie from USA: "I kill this character" (she plays George Bush's wife).
  • For Akron from Canada: I have to kill this monster [he play's a kind of Igor monster/awkward dad]...it's hiding your real beauty"
"As actor's we have to show the best of ourselves. Our sensuality, beauty, imagination, fantasy and freedom."

It got me thinking - I haven't been called a character as yet. Does this mean I have one? Or not? I do feel like I am playing something of a character when I am on stage. I'm playing a kind of fun playful stage version of me. So maybe that's okay. What's the difference between the character (like a 'cowboy') and what I'm doing? Maybe there are extra cover ups I guess. I feel lucky that I don't have many cover ups to hide who I am due to my drama school training.

We then had a 'modeling' exercise in which we were all models for Yves Saint Laurent.

Groups of five people walking from the back of the stage towards the audience all at the same time. I fell into trying to do the thing I thought Gaulier was looking for again. I didn't get any feedback saying "I want too much" or anything, but I know it. I need to find my way of being beautiful. Find the way to be a model that I get pleasure from! And I need to play the way I want. Lead the teaching so I learn to play where I like.

Later in the class he said this about Akron: "When he wants to hide himself he is aggressive." There you go.

Anna again was awesome. She didn't do the still and constrained, slow motion walking with head and nose up high which most others did (because this is what Philippe had led many to do). Rather, she had this kind of rebellious fidgety swagger going on - she was playful and totally watchable because of it (it's amazing how when there's five people on you find the person you like watching the most and ignore the rest).

After the 'selected models' got to parade again, this time they got to say three words like "you're worth it" (basically all of them died the second time - it's hard) I tried again in the 'awful models' category. I decided to go for something completely different so I modelled as Randy from Wannabe and my words were "yeah girl".

I was awful again! People really wanted to kill me. Ha! But it was fun for me. And I played and was freer and a bit silly. Not the best for showing my beauty clearly, but a good little step away from trying to be good for me.

At question time I asked if Philippe could elaborate a bit on what he means by people playing characters in Le Jeu. He said when he talks about character like this it means "when you hide your sensitivity with aggression." I think he said I am around the area (although he might have everybody when he said "you"?) of being open and showing myself (I'm gonna go with he was talking about me and keep searching around the area I have been - I feel close to it).

Lynn from Canada/Chile asked a question about fear. Philippe replied: "fear is a good friend to help you listen and see better...or it kills you...but fear is a good friend of an actor".

"The fun opens the mind, the imagination box, of the spectator."

After class I went and played with my little French friends Céleste and Paul. No hide'n'seek today. Instead we played 'Teacher', in which Céleste was a school teacher and Paul and I were students. Paul was very obedient. I was deliberately naughty. Céleste was SUPER strict. I got sent to timeout so many times. It was so much fun. I'm going to see them again tomorrow and their mum Marié and I were laughing because tomorrow I will get to be the teacher and the tables will turn!!

The 'bad' cross I got drawn on my face by Madame Céleste for being naughty in class. A couple (who turned out to speak English and were really cool) reminded me I had it when I sat next to them on the Métro!

And finally...I'm reading this book called Shantaram at the moment. Amanda recommended it.


Some text that reminded me of Le Jeu and the special something we need as performers:

'Indian actors are the greatest in the world... because Indian people know how to shout with their eyes.'

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