"You Have To Remember The Flop."

Today in class we did a cabaret show with our characters. Again, essentially, come out on stage and do something to be loved. "If we love you we ask the waiter for champagne. If we hate you we ask for Diet Coke." I was reminded today of how fantastic it is at this school to have an a live audience all the time. And a brutally honest audience at that. "It's clear when we are happy in our head. And it's clear when we say something is fucking boring." Having this audience makes the learning completely immediate and responsive. It allows for testing and for real practice at listening and being sensitive.

Or...

When I went up I decided to try and rediscover the silly dancing I was doing yesterday. I came out serious, stopped, turned my head to the audience, and then slowly started flicking my feet about. I did just a little, then stopped and listened. Then I'd do a bit more, slowly getting bigger and crazier. It was ridiculous and I had good fixed points, and I created a game with the audience, which they liked. I felt good about taking this step towards being lighter and being silly. Philippe said it was not so bad but "you don't think you're show is good enough" and said I need to believe it's Lido quality, not Kosovo quality. I didn't use my voice at all in this performance...which helped me in not pushing I guess..Also I was engaged in my body which will have helped as well...but I do need to use my voice...!

I also had a go as the presenter of one group. I tried various different voices. All of british variety (perhaps I should try a different tact...). Nothing really worked. After watching others work I think a big reason for nothing working is that I'm too heavy. And not in a loud thumpy way. But in a lacks-sensitivity and listening kind of way. I need to feel the flop more. I need to (as Philippe did with Ed) constantly remind myself of the possibility of a flop. When Philippe did this with Ed ("A flop could come...be careful...beware...attention...listen to the possible flop.") it helped him be more sensitive. He got a little lighter every time Philippe warned him of the flop. And as actors we need to have that little caution always on our minds.

~

Philippe talked about surprise a lot today.

Surprise = Something unexpected.

"You have to calculate: Ah! It's going to be fantastic in the head of the spectator!"

Maria's goth character - Philippe asked her a bunch of questions but told her not to answer anything. Q: You're a murderer aren't you? ... "If she doesn't answer we dream." ..."You don't have to play hate. Stay like this [quiet, still and simple]. It's more surprising."

"Beautiful food is surprise in the theatre."

"You have to say: Oh! I could not imagine this person could do that!"

He talked about how this is true in life too. Normal looking people surprise the world by doing unexpected unimaginable things. And "when people say never could I have imagined that, they are happy."

~

"You've got to make us dream around your character. Not bobobobo clever ideas."

"You have to play with the possible flop...otherwise it's bobobobo and we don't breathe with you." (This is me)

"You have to remember the flop."

"What did you do to make us dream about the character? ...You have to do something special for the audience."

Even when you're bad - playing as if you believe you are incredible can actually make you good. "He [Thomas] saves himself because he thinks he is a top level Hindu."

~

"It's not my job to scare you. It's my job to tell you the truth."

It feels as if Philippe is waiting for me (and a few others) to break out of our shells and discover something ourselves without his assistance. He's been helping out a few people, but I'm not getting any. I'm going to take it as a complement (I am close, and capable of discovering myself) and a challenge. It's been 4 days with this particular character and I still haven't found the right voice for it. But it will come if I keep on searching. I actually get the feeling many of the voices I've tried could actually work if I speak them with pleasure, and lightness. So that's what I'll try next.